‘I thought therapy was one-size-fits-all. Then I learned why finding the right therapist matters more’

Words: Amy Mica Marsden. Images: Shutterstock.

In 2025, the number of adults in the United States who received counseling or treatment for mental health reached 57.3 million – and the number has been increasing steadily in recent years (according to the CDC).

People go to therapy for all kinds of reasons – to work out conflicts, to heal from trauma, for support through a difficult period, or to better adjust to life’s ups and downs.

But if you feel like therapy is something you want to try for the first time, all the different styles and processes can start to feel a little overwhelming.

To help you sort through the options, we asked an expert all about finding the right therapy (and therapist) for you and laid out some approaches you may wish to try.

Therapy is covered under the Affordable Care Act in the US and may be covered under your insurance – speak with your provider to find out more.

Types of therapy

There are many different schools of thought in psychotherapy circles, and finding the right approach can depend heavily on your circumstances, goals, and therapist. But where do you even start?

It can help to have an overview of some of the different types available to you.

The American Psychological Association describes five broad categories of psychotherapy: psychoanalysis, behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, humanistic, and integrative or holistic.

There are also different methods such as individual talking therapy, group therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, animal therapy, art therapy, and so on. 

Within these categories are many different approaches, with varying levels of success for each individual. But while knowing the different types of therapy can help, the relationship you build with your therapist may be just as important as the approach they use.

If you’re not sure where to start, we’ve laid out just a few common types of therapy below. 

Remember, help and support are out there. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out. In the US, you can call or text the 988 lifeline or chat at 988lifeline.org. In the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123. Befrienders.org and findahelpline.com can help you worldwide.

1. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

CBT helps to identify common thought patterns that may be causing negative emotions. and disrupt or modify them to lessen their effects. A CBT-based therapist may try to instill more constructive ways of thinking, which can help to change self-destructive or negative behaviors for the better.

The National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) says CBT can help with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and more.

2. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)

Similar to CBT, DBT helps to identify negative thought patterns. However, DBT can often focus more on acceptance of feelings and finding a balance, rather than outright changing them. DBT therapists can help you learn new and healthy coping skills when faced with tough situations, and help you build your tolerance to stress.

DBT can be helpful for those who experience intense emotions, such as people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), emotional dysregulation, PTSD, substance use disorders, and more.

3. Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)

Developed in the late 80s, EMDR is hailed by some as an effective treatment for PTSD and trauma. It’s a form of psychotherapy that aims to reduce distress associated with traumatic memories.

During EMDR therapy, a patient will recall distressing memories or images, combined with one of several kinds of sensory input, such as moving their eyes from side to side. EMDR therapists believe this lessens the vividness and emotional impact of the memories, helping the brain process them.

4. Somatic therapy

Rather than talk therapy, somatic therapy is a more holistic, body-first approach that uses body awareness, movement and breathing to explore how stress and difficult emotions are experienced physically.

Somatic therapy is based on the idea that trauma and chronic stress linger in the body and nervous system and need to be released. It will often involve several kinds of movement and breathwork and can be useful for anxiety, depression, chronic pain, grief, stress, and PTSD.

5. Humanistic therapy

Instead of focusing on past experiences, humanistic therapy looks more at personal growth and self-actualization. It focuses on the ‘here and now’ rather than discussing past trauma, and during sessions, your therapist will support you without judgment to help you gain greater self-awareness.

Humanistic therapy can especially benefit those with low self-esteem, as well as depression, anxiety, panic disorders, personality disorders, and more.

Therapy or therapist?

Though it is useful to know the different approaches, it’s the relationship you have with your therapist that makes the biggest difference, says Laurie Wilson, LMFT at Rize Counseling.

‘The most important ingredient for therapy to work is the therapeutic alliance, or the relationship between the client and therapist. A therapist can have all the proper training, but that will not matter next to a therapist who is genuine.’

‘I think a lot of times people get caught up in focusing on the type of therapy, or have heard from a friend how EMDR worked or had a good experience with DBT.

‘Find a therapist who can break down the complex types in a way you can understand, and collaboratively choose what will work best for you.’

How to find the therapist who is right for me?

When finding the right therapist, it can be helpful to think of the process in experimental terms or as looking for the right fit. Just because you choose a therapist doesn’t mean you’re stuck with them if they’re not right – by trying different therapists and approaches, you’ll discover which one feels right for you.

Laurie is keen to emphasize that there should always be a two-way street between patient and therapist.

‘Don’t be afraid to interview your therapist,’ she says. ‘Ask any questions that will help you feel comfortable leaning into a relationship where we can discuss some of our most vulnerable things. There has to be safety, trust, and authenticity there.’

Laurie recommends browsing Psychology Today for therapists and studying their pictures, bios, and more. ‘Most do brief 10-minute consultations to explore the fit over the phone,’ she advises.

At the end of the day, Laurie adds, remember you are the expert of your own life. ‘Therapists should walk beside you and support you as you walk through mental health struggles or difficult times.

‘It should be a relationship where you feel comfortable expressing when something didn’t work for you, or you felt unheard. They should be kind, gentle, and great at listening.’

Laurie Wilson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, supporting you through self-criticism, stress, and more. Find her at @rizecounseling