Does putting up your Christmas tree early make you happier? Therapists explain the psychology behind it

Words: Yasmina Floyer. Images: Shutterstock

There are some people who have munched halfway through their advent calendar before they even begin to think about dragging the box with the festive decs down. As long as it’s up before Christmas Eve, then it’s all good in their eyes. Then there are others, like a neighbour of mine, who can’t even wait for Halloween to be over before they plunge feet first into festive cheer.

I’m talking Christmas tree up in the window by the end of October, stockings, tinsel, Wham! blaring out from the speakers, Christmas movies on the TV 24/7…

How early is too early when it comes to Christmas? Is it all just harmless fun, or are there any consequences to engaging with the festive season way ahead of time? Integrative depth and trauma psychotherapist, Maria Nazdravan, tells me that she believes in people giving themselves permission to do whatever they want, as long as it’s not harmful.

‘The world would be a much better place if we allowed ourselves to be more eccentric and worry less about what others think,’ she says. ‘Who says you can’t put up your Christmas decorations early if you fancy it? Or blast Mariah Carey singing All I want for Christmas in the middle of June?’

Nazdravan specialises in trauma treatment, where creative resources are seen as a critical factor in healing and wellbeing. Resources are things you can do to help you cope with stress or even distress, so you can bring yourself back to a state of safety. ‘They can be internal, like breathwork or movement, but also external, like calling a friend, engaging in a hobby, having a spiritual practice, or being in nature,’ she explains.

‘If someone is having a tough year, then I can see how decorating their home early, putting on Christmas music, or setting up dinner with friends can be very resourceful — as long as these are cues for safety and belonging. After the year we’ve had, I wouldn’t judge anyone who felt the need to bring the holiday cheer early.’ 

What Nazdravan says about allowing ourselves to do as we wish really speaks to me, yet she also speaks to the boundaries of safety and belonging. When it comes to celebrations such as Christmas, which are seasonal and steeped in tradition, I wonder how important it is to draw boundaries around these special moments?

I discuss this with Eimear O’Mahony, a senior counsellor and psychotherapist at First Psychology, who specialises in the topic of boundaries. She explains that drawing boundaries around special occasions helps us to experience the natural rhythm and anticipation that makes these moments special.

Our nervous system thrives on rhythms and cycles and moving with the flow of the seasons, she explains. ‘When we blur the lines too early, we risk diluting the magic that comes from seasonal traditions. If it were Christmas or our birthday every day, it wouldn’t feel special.’ She goes on to say that if we engage in certain traditions ‘too early’, we can risk losing the magic of it all.

‘We live in a world of overconsumption, and this impacts our ability to experience pleasure.’ It is impossible to engage with the notion of Christmas without considering the impact of overconsumption and the role that businesses play in triggering action when it comes to this season.

‘When I used to work in advertising, we considered the launch of the John Lewis Christmas ad as the start of the holiday, and I think that’s very true for Brits,’ says Nazdravan. She adds that since 2014, this date has been pushed back from December to the start of November. ‘I think that’s important because advertising creates culture.

Companies pay ad agencies enormous amounts of money to shape the collective image of what Christmas cheer is made of —even when it begins. It would be silly to pretend that this doesn’t influence us.’ Framing an exceptionally early engagement of Christmas within the bounds of consumption is also a reminder of the pressure and financial strain that many people experience around this time of year, which inevitably takes a toll of its own.

O’Mahony agrees that the mental and emotional impact of engaging prematurely with holiday prep can trigger stress about finances, family dynamics, and holiday expectations months ahead of time. She goes on to tell me that other factors that impact our mental and emotional wellbeing by engaging with festivities excessively early may be that we miss the beauty of autumn, when we’re already mentally in December.

‘As well as this, when Christmas music plays for three months, it often loses its ability to spark joy. By Christmas Day, we may feel emotionally depleted rather than genuinely excited.’ It is true that Christmas has become an increasingly secular celebration which prizes overindulgence, and by extension, overconsumption.

‘So many people go into debt to keep up with this collective expectation by buying the latest decorations, purchasing gifts for more people than they can afford, going out for pricey meals, and then suffering financially for months while paying all this extravaganza off,’ Nazdravan says, ‘By Christmas Day, most of us are maxed out both emotionally and financially.’

So while there’s nothing wrong about starting Christmas celebrations earlier, Nazdravan believes we should also question why we do it. ‘Is it something we truly want, or a collective expectation motivated by companies hoping to beat last year’s profits?’

Having something nice to look forward to can sweeten our experience of the present, so it is only natural that we have this ‘I can’t wait’ feeling when it comes to the good things to come. But is there a shadow side to looking forward?

‘Excessive early preparation can be a symptom of avoiding the present when current life can stressors feel overwhelming, so we escape to future joy,’ says O’Mahony.

Other factors that may make some people want to avoid facing the here and now can include a struggle with uncertainty or difficult emotions. ‘Some may use festive planning as a form of emotional regulation when current circumstances feel challenging. There might also be a fear that if we don’t start early, we won’t have enough time to create the “perfect” celebration.’

O’Mahony’s tips for how to navigate avoiding the present

1. Practise present-moment check-ins. Before diving into holiday prep, pause and ask: ‘What am I avoiding right now?’

2. Set conscious seasonal boundaries. Choose specific dates to begin holiday activities and stick to them.

3. Embrace seasonal mindfulness. Fully engage with whatever season you’re in. Go kick some autumn leaves!

4. Address underlying stress. If you’re using holiday planning to escape current difficulties, consider what support you might need.

Like Nazdravan, O’Mahony also believes that there can be some positives to giving in to the joy of Christmas ahead of time in the sense that it can mean living on your own terms and rejecting societal ‘shoulds’.

‘Some people feel most alive during festive seasons and want to experience as much of it as they can. As well as this, creating your own traditions may work well for families with unique circumstances (military deployments, shift work, health challenges, family living abroad) who may need to celebrate when it works for them.’

The days of December march a steady procession towards the shortest day of the year, which leaves many of us feel bleak. Leaning into what brings happiness can be a positive way to counter this, and O’Mahony shares that some people may use early festive prep as a deliberate mood-boosting strategy during darker months.

Other positives O’Mahony shares with me include community building, since early celebrations can create more opportunities for connection. Of course, while some people are eagerly planning their celebrations in September, others might be dreading the approach of the season because it amplifies feelings of loss, grief and trauma.

‘Since I lost my father and brother, I’m aware of how emotionally complex the festive season can be, with an emphasis on family gatherings and joy,’ says O’Mahony. ‘There were many years where I found myself avoiding Christmas planning as an emotional protective mechanism. The act of putting up decorations or making festive plans can trigger waves of grief, reminding us of who isn’t there to share in the celebrations.’

The key is recognising that there’s no universal ‘right’ way to experience Christmas. Ultimately, O’Mahony urges that we do what feels right. ‘The key difference is intention and awareness. Are you engaging early because it genuinely brings you joy and works for your life circumstances? Or are you using it to avoid dealing with present moment challenges?

Lean into what feels right and aligned for you, with a little sprinkle of awareness that if others are not feeling very Christmassy — you never know what’s going on for them.’

Meet the experts

Eimear O’Mahony

Senior counsellor/psychotherapist at First Psychology Scotland with clinics in Edinburgh and Dundee. She specialises in working with substance and alcohol misuse; eating disorders and body image, trauma, boundary setting, grief, depression, anxiety, anger management, low self-esteem, stress, burnout and relationship issues. eimearomahonycounselling.co.uk

Maria Nazdravan

An integrative depth and trauma psychotherapist. Passionate about dreamwork and Jungian psychology, she runs regular dream circles and workshops, and writes a Substack exploring Jungian ideas and contemporary spirituality. beginagain.space