Let go of your resistance to change

Here are 13 ways to help you from ‘A Path to Wisdom’ author Tony J Selimi

1. Be honest. Be clear on how you participate in the reality you continue to experience. Ask yourself: what limiting thought, belief or pattern of behaviour am I currently holding on to that is standing in the way of my desire? What story do I keep telling myself or others that affirms the current position I'm in?

2. Be aware. What part of the equation am I participating in that continues to get me the same results? Because the truth is, you are always living your unconscious expectation. Becoming aware of your 'status quo' will give you your first clue on where your work lies.

3. Be responsible. Take 100 per cent responsibility for being the powerful creator that you are.

4. Stay out of self-judgement. Just like in the acorn lives the potential of the oak tree, that which you are seeking is already within you. This is a big one, and just generally a really awesome gift to give ourselves, regardless of what we're talking about. That said, creating change requires looking at our 'stuff'. It is necessary to do so with as little judgement as possible, while still being brutally honest. Getting caught up in 'I should've…' or 'Why didn't I…' simply stops any forward momentum we had going.

5. Look within. None of this is a race to the finish. Instead, use the resistance to point you to areas that need 'clearing'. Use it as an opportunity to become more authentically who you already are. Nothing is outside yourself.

6. Be open. Everything comes to you along your own path, as you are ready. So, prepare yourself and be open to receive. Do what you can do something about. Let go of what you have no control over. Sometimes becoming aware of your repetitive patterns is all that is required. But other times, we need to take additional action.

7. Be stubborn. Once you commit to action, the worst thing you can do is to stop. You don't have to be a hero to be stubborn. You can just be a pain in the butt. When you're stubborn, there's no quit in you. You're mean, you're mulish, you're ornery. You're in till the finish. Sink your junkyard-dog teeth into Resistance's ass and do not let go, no matter how hard it kicks.

8. Have blind faith. Is there a spiritual element to creativity? Oh yes. Your mightiest ally is belief in something you cannot see, hear, touch taste, or fell. Resistance wants to rattle that faith. Resistance wants to destroy it.

9. Go behind. If you are in a place of resistance about something, look for the fear behind it and find a way to dissipate it.

10. Meditate. Meditation is one way, but so is arming yourself with knowledge, telling yourself a different story (ie stop scaring yourself) , making phone calls, getting into action, etc

11. Focus on something else. When you're thinking about the thing you want, and why you want it so badly, resistance (belief, frustrations, thought, feeling or unconscious beliefs) is usually present at the same time. When you distract yourself entirely and think about something else that pleases you, you're in a much more relaxed place of allowing. And the universe can bring it to you with the least amount of resistance. This is why people who fall in love drop the extra weight they've been wanting to lose, or get a promotion they've been wanting. They are in a place where they are open to receiving.

12. Be passionate. Picasso painted with passion. Mozart composed with it. A child plays with it all day long. You may think that you've lost your passion, or that you can't identify it, or that you have so much of it that it threatens to overwhelm you. None of these is true. Fear saps passion. When we conquer our fears, we discover a boundless, bottomless, inexhaustible well of passion.

13. Be clear. It is difficult to begin to create change when what you want to change is vague or ill-defined. Clarity of mind means clarity of passion; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly.

Excerpt from A Path To Wisdom by Tony J Selimi (Panoma Press, £19.99)

About the author

Tony J. Selimi is known as a human behaviour, cognition, and emotional intelligence expert whose clients range from celebrities, MPs, doctors, scientists, entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders to senior executives of companies such as Microsoft, SAP, Bank of America, Ignis Asset Management, Deutsche Bank, Ernst & Young, Santander, Vandercom, etc.

Globally Tony provides answers to questions and practical solutions to life’s challenges in talks, workshops, one to one coaching, mastermind groups, retreats, articles, radio and TV interviews. He is known for creating amazing and life-long transformations in people and organizations leaving them feeling euphoric, inspired, and peaceful.

Photograph: iStock

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