Think you might have ADHD at 60? Why more women are recognising the signs later in life

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It’s increasingly reported that older women are starting to have a lightbulb moment and questioning whether their character traits are in fact ADHD. We speak to experts about why women in their sixties are starting to connect the dots…

With awareness of ADHD growing, it’s no surprise that more women at 60 are questioning whether in fact they have the neurodevelopmental condition. Perhaps after a lifetime of struggling to concentrate, stay organised and keep on top of everyday life, some are looking back at their traits and wondering could they in fact have ADHD. Although the lightbulb moment may have come late in their lives, for many, it can suddenly all make sense. And there is many reasons why this may be the case.

Why ADHD was so often missed in girls

For starters, many of this generation grew up not knowing the real facts about ADHD. This is because, only in recent years, or since 2010, ADHD hadn’t become as mainstream as it is today.

“These women grew up with a very narrow picture of ADHD. For most of their lives it meant a boy who couldn’t sit still in class,” explained Elizabeth Bodett Dresser, founder of Still Oak Counselling.

“A bright girl who daydreamed, lost her keys, left projects until the night before and then pulled them off brilliantly didn’t fit that picture, so nobody was asking questions. Often girls in that situation are told that they’re scattered, disorganized, or talk too much. And when kids are told something about themselves, they generally believe it.”

The coping strategies women used to hide their struggles

As a counsellor who works with a lot of women who have spent decades trying to explain away or outwork their struggles with ADHD, she has seen them slowly start to connect the dots and question if they in fact have had ADHD all their lives.

“Many of these women built impressive workarounds. Lists on lists, rigid routines, over preparing, people-pleasing, working twice as hard as colleagues to look effortless. The strategies worked well enough that the underlying pattern stayed hidden, sometimes even from themselves. But keeping it all running is exhausting, and by 60 a lot of women simply can’t do it anymore.

Why ADHD can become more obvious around 60

“Life for women around 60 tends to pull the scaffolding away. Hormonal changes through menopause can make memory, focus and follow-through noticeably harder, which exposes struggles that were there all along. Retirement removes the structure of a job. Children leave home and the family schedule that kept everything on track disappears. What was manageable with outside structure suddenly feels a lot harder.

‘That’s me. That’s always been me’

“They’re often hearing about it through someone else. A child or grandchild gets diagnosed, and as the family describes the traits, there can be this sense of “That’s me. That’s always been me.” Add the flood of conversation about adult ADHD online, and many women are seeing their own history reflected back for the first time.”

Why turning 60 can trigger a life review

And finally, she points out that 60 is often a natural moment for looking back. “Many women are willing to be more honest in the questions they’re asking about their lives than they were at 40. And they finally have the space to be curious rather than self-critical about why certain things were always so hard.

“This is about finally having the language for something that was there all along. For many women that recognition brings grief for the younger self who believed she was lazy or careless, but also real relief and a lot more self-compassion. I’d also gently encourage anyone recognizing herself to seek a proper assessment rather than relying on social media checklists, since anxiety, burnout, sleep problems and menopause itself can look similar.”

When a family member’s diagnosis changes everything

And then there is also the fact that with more ADHD awareness, women at 60 understand that it can run in families. This is something counsellor Billy Roberts, founder of Focus Mind ADHD Counseling points too.

“Many women are reaching sixty and noticing more of their family members diagnosed. This begins to validate a feeling they’ve had their whole life but lacked the language to express: “I feel different but don’t know why.” Looking back, they can see a pattern of starting and stopping projects and careers, and struggling to feel like they truly met their potential. A late-in-life diagnosis can have a profound psychological effect by providing answers and validation to a life lived differently.”

In his clinic, the team offer specialized ADHD testing and counseling for late-diagnosed adults and he has seen a rise in the number of older women discovering they have had it all along.

ADHD can look very different in women

“Women are realizing they might have ADHD later in life for a few reasons. One is that awareness of adult ADHD is rising, and research is showing that women are often overlooked in childhood.

“The field of mental health has now uncovered that ADHD looks different in girls than in boys. For example, boys externalize their hyperactivity with distracting behavior in class, whereas girls struggle with internal hyperactivity, experienced as “not being able to shut their brains off.”

The signs women may recognise in themselves

And it’s not just counsellors seeing a rise in the number of women who are questioning if they have ADHD once they hit 60. For psychiatrist Jasmine Sawhne, of Jasmine Sawhne, she is seeing a vast number of women in their 60s who begin to wonder whether things like disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, difficulty with time management, or feeling chronically overwhelmed could actually fit ADHD.

ADHD doesn’t suddenly start at 60

“ADHD doesn’t suddenly start at 60 but increased awareness and changes in life structure can give women a new framework for understanding patterns that may have been present since childhood,” she explained.

“Many have spent decades compensating through perfectionism, hard work, rigid routines, or simply pushing themselves harder, so the underlying difficulties were easy to overlook. An ADHD diagnosis requires looking carefully at the person’s lifelong history, because similar symptoms can also arise from anxiety, depression, sleep problems, menopause, medications, or normal cognitive changes with aging.”

Why a late diagnosis can finally make sense of the past

And another psychiatrist Dr Jeff Ditzell, of Jeff Ditzell, Psychiatry agrees.

“Increased awareness of ADHD can help a woman around age 60 make sense of difficulties she has experienced for decades. Looking back, she may recognize a recurring pattern of trouble with attention, organization, time management, or follow-through – difficulties she may have once attributed to stress, personality, or not trying hard enough. The pattern may have gone unnoticed because she appeared to be doing well, even while relying on rigid structure or extraordinary effort to keep up.

“A family member’s ADHD diagnosis, a conversation with a clinician, or simply learning more about how ADHD can appear in women may prompt her to connect experiences that once seemed unrelated. She may also be better able to describe internal struggles that others could not see when she was younger. Instead of asking, “Why have I always struggled with this?” she may begin to ask, “Has this been a consistent pattern throughout my life?”

It could be late recognition, not late-onset ADHD

Dr Ditzell also adds that changes in work or family responsibilities, sleep, or menopause can make longstanding difficulties more noticeable.

“The clinical distinction is late recognition, not necessarily late onset: ADHD does not typically begin for the first time at 60. An evaluation by a qualified clinician would look for evidence of symptoms earlier in life, assess their impact across settings, and consider other explanations for difficulties that are new or have worsened recently.”