Is your boss a psychopath? 5 workplace red flags that could reveal a darker side to their management style

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We’ve all been there: a stressful, busy day in the office made even more difficult by that one person who just happens to be in charge.

Your boss.

Maybe they slam doors, make cutting comments or seem to change their mood depending on who is in the room. But what if some of those behaviours are more than simply bad management?

We often throw around words such as ‘psycho’ without thinking about what they actually mean. But according to counsellor and author Julia Summers, there are certain patterns of behaviour that can make a workplace relationship particularly difficult – although they should never be used to diagnose someone.

If you’re unfamiliar with terms such as ‘hoovering’, ‘love bombing’ and ‘triangulation’, Julia Summers, from Julia Summers , has written about these behaviours in her book Game Over: Uncovering the Secrets of Unhealthy Relationship Behaviours and Manipulation.

And before pointing the finger at your boss, she says it’s important to focus on behaviour rather than labels.

What is psychopathy?

‘Psychopathy is best understood as a cluster of traits that tend to appear together in someone, typically having superficial charm, lying, manipulation, impulsivity, a lack of empathy, guilt or remorse about how their behaviour affects other people,’ explains Julia.

‘They tend to use people to get what they want. It isn’t a standalone diagnosis, it sits on a spectrum, not everybody with psychopathic traits will behave the same way, be violent serial killers or break the law.’

According to Julia, psychopathic traits are influenced by both nature and environment. Research suggests there is a genetic influence, but there is no single ‘psychopathy gene’.

‘Genetics don’t determine how somebody will behave,’ she says.

‘Temperament, brain development, childhood experiences, relationships and what somebody learns about how to get their needs met all play a part.

‘Traits develop over time rather than somebody suddenly becoming a psychopath as an adult. People can develop increasingly harmful or manipulative behaviours, especially when those behaviours repeatedly get them what they want without consequence.’

So, before you run to HR with concerns about your boss, Julia suggests looking for patterns of behaviour instead.

Importantly, no single behaviour proves that someone has psychopathic traits.

1. They’re charming when it suits them

Your boss might be confident, engaging and impressive when dealing with clients or senior managers, while behaving very differently towards the people working beneath them.

Perhaps you’re singled out early on and made to feel special. Julia describes this as similar to ‘love bombing’ in relationships.

But the warmth can disappear suddenly when you disagree with them, fail to perform as expected or stop being useful to them.

What to do

Stay professional and avoid sharing too much personal information too quickly.

Instead, judge your boss by their behaviour over time rather than their first impression or what they tell you about themselves.

‘Working with problematic people becomes less problematic when you can see what they are doing and have ways to manage it,’ says Julia.

2. They lie or change what happened

Did your boss deny saying something you clearly remember them saying? Have they changed what was agreed, moved a deadline after the event or insisted you’ve misunderstood?

These behaviours can leave you questioning your own memory and perception.

Julia describes this as gaslighting – although, again, a disagreement or memory lapse on its own doesn’t necessarily constitute gaslighting.

Your boss might also take credit when something goes well, but distance themselves from responsibility when something goes wrong.

What to do

Keep a written record of important conversations, targets and decisions.

Where possible, follow up verbal instructions with a brief email confirming what was discussed. This gives you something factual to refer back to if the version of events later changes.

3. They’re hot and cold with you

You might find yourself wondering what you’ve done wrong or desperately trying to get back into your boss’s good books.

And when you start to disengage, they suddenly become charming again.

Julia describes this as ‘hoovering’ – a pattern that can keep people stuck in unhealthy relationship dynamics because they continually try to regain the positive attention.

‘Some people deliberately treat you this way “to get the best out of you”,’ she says.

But the uncertainty can also create anxiety, leaving you wondering which version of your boss you’re going to encounter.

What to do

Keep notes of negative behaviours and how they affect you.

Looking back at what has happened can help you identify whether there is a recurring pattern rather than viewing each incident in isolation.

4. They manipulate relationships within the team

Does your boss tell different versions of a story to different employees? Do they share information that was given to them in confidence, encourage competition between colleagues or create obvious favourites and scapegoats?

Julia describes this type of behaviour as ‘triangulation’.

It can leave colleagues blaming one another without realising they’ve been given different information.

What to do

Communicate directly with colleagues where possible and avoid becoming the person who carries messages or workplace gossip.

If you’re unsure about something you’ve been told, check what was actually said rather than immediately reacting.

A team that communicates openly is much harder to divide.

5. They believe the rules don’t apply to them

Your boss expects loyalty, honesty and accountability from everyone else, but seems to hold themselves to a completely different standard.

They might ignore workplace policies, make reckless decisions or treat reasonable disagreement as disloyalty.

Employees who question them may then find themselves excluded, heavily criticised or suddenly placed under greater scrutiny.

What to do

Know your organisation’s policies and keep records if you notice a pattern.

If you’re concerned about whether you’re being treated fairly, consider speaking to a union representative, HR, a trusted senior colleague or an employment adviser rather than trying to manage the situation alone.

Could a psychopath actually make a good boss?

There is a potentially confusing side to some of these traits.

‘Some people with psychopathic traits can appear calm under pressure, confident, persuasive and willing to make difficult decisions, and those qualities can be useful in demanding roles,’ says Julia.

So could someone with psychopathic traits actually be an effective boss?

Julia says that confidence, charm and certainty can sometimes be mistaken for strong leadership.

‘Some are very good at getting into positions of power, because confidence, charm and certainty are easily mistaken for good leadership.

‘Research has found a small association between psychopathic traits and emerging as a leader and an association with poorer leadership effectiveness once they’re there.’

She adds that people with these traits can sometimes produce short-term results, particularly in workplaces heavily focused on targets.

‘But that doesn’t make them a good boss,’ she says.

Instead, Julia suggests looking at what is happening within the team.

‘Are people regularly leaving, becoming unwell, frightened of making mistakes, or unable to question a decision?’

Don’t get distracted by the label

The problem with unhealthy workplace behaviour is that individual incidents can often be explained away.

Your boss was having a bad day. They didn’t mean it like that. You must have misunderstood. Everyone is under pressure.

But over time, repeated behaviours can have a much greater impact.

Julia says you don’t need to diagnose your boss to recognise that something isn’t working.

‘You don’t need to diagnose your boss as anything, your focus should be on you, how you feel, the impact it has on you, how you are treated and whether it works for you.’

Being able to identify unhealthy behaviours can help you stop blaming yourself and questioning whether you’re ‘good enough’.

‘It helps you understand that behind all manipulation and control is someone trying to gain power over you,’ she says.

‘Once you can name a behaviour, you can figure out what you want to do about it.’

Ultimately, Julia says it’s important not to become so focused on whether someone is a psychopath that you lose sight of what their behaviour is doing to you.

‘Look at the patterns instead. What do they repeatedly do, what impact does it have on you, and what happens when you try to address it?

‘Those three questions will tell you far more than a label ever will.’