What is a ‘dark empath’? How to spot the dark triad’s more social counterpart, according to the experts
Could someone be emotionally perceptive and still treat you badly? An expert unpacks the personality profile known as the dark empath — and explains which behaviors deserve your attention.
Amy Mica Marsden
Images: Shutterstock
When speaking about potentially dangerous people, you may have heard of the ‘Dark Triad’ — the three negative personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.
However, in recent years, experts have begun discussing a potential close cousin to these traits — one they have dubbed ‘dark empathy’.
‘We tend to assume that people with darker personality traits simply lack empathy,’ says Dr Nadja Heym, Associate Professor in Personality Psychology and Psychopathology at Nottingham Trent University and the term’s originator. ‘Our research suggested that the picture is more complicated than that.’
What is a ‘dark empath’?
At its core, Heym explains that dark empathy is a personality type which combines ‘relatively high levels of antagonistic Dark Triad traits’ with ‘relatively high levels of cognitive (e.g. perspective taking) and affective (e.g. empathic concern) empathy’ — basically, a combination of negative personality traits and empathy.
‘That combination is interesting,’ she adds, ‘because we tend to assume that people with darker personality traits simply lack empathy.’
Heym and her team first characterized the idea of dark empaths in 2001, while conducting a survey on Dark Triad traits. They used a sample of nearly 1000 people and identified four main personality profiles: ‘a traditional Dark Triad group (high dark traits and low empathy), the Dark Empaths (high dark traits with high empathy), Empaths (high empathy and low dark traits), and Typicals (low dark traits and average empathy),’ she explains.
But when they looked closer at the intersection between dark traits and empathy, they found something surprising: the presence of empathy did not cancel out dark traits, as some previously expected.
‘Dark Empaths were less aggressive, more agreeable and more extraverted than the traditional Dark Triad group, and showed somewhat better psychological wellbeing,’ says Heym.
‘However, empathy did not completely remove the darker interpersonal characteristics: compared with people low in dark traits, Dark Empaths remained more antagonistic and showed higher levels of some forms of indirect aggression, particularly guilt induction and malicious humour.’
This means that people within the ‘dark empath’ group tended to come across as somewhat better adjusted than those with low empathy – but still showed ‘antagonistic characteristics’ associated with the Dark Triad.
‘Empathy isn’t necessarily the same thing as being kind or compassionate. You can understand another person’s perspective or recognise what they’re feeling without necessarily being motivated to help them,’ Heym adds.
How to spot a dark empath
One thing Heym is keen to emphasize is that just because the category of ‘dark empaths’ exists doesn’t mean people should begin to label or diagnose ‘difficult partners, colleagues or family members.’ In fact, Heym urges caution against partaking in so-called ‘narcissism spotting’ or similar.
However, if you want to familiarize yourself with the characteristics associated with dark empaths, there are a few things to keep in mind.
One thing Heym identifies in dark empaths is a strong need for admiration or recognition – but, unlike narcissistic characteristics, a dark empath will still be very good at understanding how others feel.
‘They could be quite self-focused and concerned with status, but also be very perceptive about other people’s feelings,’ explains Heym. ‘They might be strategically minded or somewhat manipulative, reflecting Machiavellian traits, yet still experience emotional resonance with others. Or someone who can emotionally connect with you, yet still use guilt to get what they want.’
Equally, they may be callous, impulsive, or self-interested – all typically psychopathic traits – but, crucially, they still retain their empathy.
‘The interesting thing about the Dark Empath is precisely this apparent contradiction: having empathy doesn’t necessarily prevent someone from also having darker or more antagonistic personality characteristics,’ says Heym.
According to the study, Heym and her team saw that people who exhibited a combination of dark traits and empathy tended to be more extraverted and functioned better in social environments than their traditional Dark Triad counterparts, meaning they often don’t fit the typical stereotype of a narcissist or psychopath.
How should we deal with dark empaths?
Heym emphasizes that in real life, an individual’s actual behavior is a much more important indicator of who to look out for, rather than trying to label their specific personality type.
‘Do they habitually manipulate people? Do they exploit vulnerabilities? Do they repeatedly disregard boundaries? Do their actions cause harm?’ she asks. ‘Those are much more useful questions than trying to make a “personality diagnosis”.’
‘My main advice would actually be: don’t worry too much about whether the person is really a dark empath, but focus on how they treat you and what that means to you.
‘If somebody repeatedly treats you badly or with disrespect, manipulates you, undermines you, violates your boundaries, or leaves you feeling unsafe, you don’t need a psychological label to take that seriously.’
Hear more of Dr Nadja Heym’s thoughts on dark empathy below.
