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Stop apologising

Find yourself saying 'sorry' a lot? And probably for no good reason half the time? Dr Jessamy Hibberd and Jo Usmar have some advice for you

by Psychologies

stop saying sorry

Obviously there are times when saying sorry is necessary and advisable, however, constant apologising for no discernible reason can dilute your credibility and your confidence.

When to say sorry and when not to

  • Don't apologise for asking for help. Asking for help isn't an imposition, but by constantly saying sorry, you're making whatever you need seem like a bigger burden than it really is. You should make it positive – for example, 'Could you possibly help me with X please, because you're really good at it?
  • Do say sorry if you have done something wrong, hurt someone's feelings, or want to make amends
  • Don't apologise for being right. When you're right, you're right and there's no need to soften the blow with a sheepish 'sorry'. You can still sound considerate without apologising
  • Do say sorry if you are expressing condolences
  • Don't apologise for your opinion – 'I'm sorry, but I was thinking…' – why should you be sorry for whatever you were thinking? No one else is sorry for their opinion so why should you be for yours? By saying sorry you are just undermining your point of view

Extracted from This Book Will Make You Confident by Dr Jessamy Hibberd and Jo Usmar (Quercus, £7.99)

More inspiration:

Read Be your own woman by Jane C Woods on LifeLabs

Photograph: plainpicture/Fancy Images