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Break the self-deprecation habit

Psychotherapist Sue Cowan-Jenssen tells you how

by Psychologies

don't put yourself down
  • A person who either boasts or put themselves down does not truly value themselves. You need to acknowledge a sense of your own worth.
  • If you are not recognising your achievements, it leaves you vulnerable to being put down, or even bullying - it makes it hard to stand your ground or feel respected.
  • If you are self-deprecating, it's a way of defending against envy. It's also about protection, if you don't care about something and you lose it, then it doesn't really count. You get in the habit of managing loss, so you go for the job you aren't really that bothered about.
  • Learn to own your desires with straight stements, such as: 'There's a job I want to go for, it really interests me.'
  • When someone pays you a compliment, smile genuinely and say 'thank you'.
  • You can admit to what you want, without boasting. A straight assessment is not boastful - 'I good marks in that exam, I'm really pleased about it' is an honest assessment. 'I got good marks in that exam, I don't know how I did it, must have been pure luck!' is not.

Photograph: JGI/Jamie Grill/Blend Images/Corbis

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