5 subtle signs your nervous system is dysregulated – according to a psychotherapist

When chronic stress overwhelms your nervous system, it can start to show up in your body as physical symptoms. If you think your nervous system is dysregulated, these are the subtle signs to look out for.

If you’re dealing with tight shoulders, tummy troubles or constant exhaustion, it might be a dysregulated nervous system trying to tell you something. ‘Your body is often the first place your nervous system reveals that it has been working harder than usual,’ explains Dr Joy Conlon, a psychotherapist at Coyne Medical. ‘Unlike your thoughts, which you can distract yourself from by convincing yourself that everything is fine, your body is completely honest. It simply reflects what is happening beneath the surface.’

‘Think of your body as your nervous system’s messaging system,’ she continues. ‘When everything is balanced and running smoothly, the messages are calm and quiet. But when your nervous system has been consistently working under pressure and carrying more pressure than it can comfortably manage, your body starts sending you messages to alert you to the fact that it is time to pay attention and take some action.’

If you’ve been feeling overly stressed or out of balance recently, you might be dealing with a dysregulated nervous system – here are the physical signs to look out for.

Note: If you are experiencing persistent physical symptoms, it is always important to see your GP or healthcare professional to rule out any underlying medical causes.

1. You have persistent muscle tension

Many people have persistent muscle tension without even realising it. You might move through each day with your shoulders up to your ears or with your jaw tightly clenched. For others, waking up with a stiff neck or headache is the first indication that their muscles are holding too much tension.

So, how does this link to the nervous system? ‘When your nervous system senses danger, it naturally tightens your muscles in preparation for action – even if the perceived danger is preparing for a challenging work meeting, worrying about finances, navigating relationship conflict or caring for family members,’ explains Dr Joy. ‘Keeping you safe is your nervous system’s primary goal, so every perceived threat – real or hypothetical – activates your nervous system.’

‘Thousands of years ago, the nervous system helped our ancestors run for their lives and protect themselves from predators,’ Dr Joy continues. ‘Today, the threats are much less obvious, but often far more constant. Unlike the predators our ancestors faced, these modern stressors also rarely disappear at the end of the day. This means your nervous system often stays on high alert for much longer than it was ever designed to. And if your nervous system never feels safe enough to fully switch off, your muscles never fully let go either.’

‘That is why so many people live with aching shoulders, tight necks, headaches and jaw pain,’ she adds. ‘Your body is not malfunctioning. It is preparing for a danger that never physically arrives.’

2. You wake up feeling exhausted

Ever wake up after a full eight hours of sleep and wonder why you still feel exhausted? ‘The answer often has less to do with how long you have slept and more to do with the quality your sleep – and whether or not your nervous system actually had the opportunity to rest and recover as you slept,’ Dr Joy explains.

‘When your nervous system remains dysregulated and in high alert, it never completely switches off,’ she continues. ‘Even while you are asleep, your brain is still ticking over, scanning for threats or problems. You wake up having slept, yes, but you do not feel refreshed because your body and mind have been working all night, as your nervous system remained on high alert.’

‘It is a bit like charging your phone overnight while leaving dozens of apps running in the background,’ she adds. ‘Yes, the phone battery charges, but so much energy has been used overnight that it never quite reaches 100%.’

3. You notice changes in your breathing

There’s a reason why breathing exercises are often so effective for stress management. ‘Your breathing is one of the quickest ways to tell what state your nervous system is in,’ Dr Joy explains. ‘When you feel calm, safe and relaxed, your breathing happens naturally – it is slow, deep and effortless. But when your nervous system senses a threat – perhaps you are about to give a presentation at work – your breathing automatically changes. It becomes quicker and much shallower because your body is preparing you to react – fight, flight or freeze – to keep you safe.’

‘Your brain is constantly paying attention to what is happening inside your body,’ she continues. ‘When it notices your breathing becoming faster and shallower, it begins to interpret those physical changes as further evidence that something important, or perhaps something threatening, is about to happen. In response, it increases your level of alertness even further. Before long, your body is sending messages to your brain, and your brain is sending messages straight back to your body in a circular feedback loop where each one reinforces the other.’

‘The good news is that this conversation works both ways,’ Dr Joy adds. ‘If rapid, shallow breathing can convince your brain that you are in danger, then slow, steady breathing can reassure your brain that you are safe. Every slow, controlled breath interrupts the feedback loop and helps your nervous system feel safe enough to switch off the alarm.’

4. Your digestive system is playing up

Do you tend to feel sick or experience ‘butterflies’ before an interview? Or perhaps you find yourself reaching for comfort food after a long day? ‘This is because your digestive system and your nervous system are in constant conversation,’ Dr Joy tells us. 

‘Think of your body like a household trying to manage a power cut,’ she continues. ‘If electricity suddenly becomes limited, essential services are prioritised while others are reduced or switch off altogether. Your nervous system does something very similar: when it believes there is a threat, and protection is the priority, it temporarily redirects resources away from digestion towards the systems needed for immediate survival. Namely the cardiovascular, the respiratory and the musculoskeletal system.’

‘For some people,’ she adds, ‘this means losing their appetite altogether. For others it means craving high-energy comfort foods because the brain is searching for a quick source of fuel. Both are completely understandable nervous system responses. And remember – these are not flaws, they are important feedback from your nervous system.’

5. You get sick more easily and recovery takes longer

Have you ever noticed that the moment you go on holiday, you immediately get sick? Or perhaps every cold seems to be lingering a little longer than the last? ‘Many people tell me, “I never stop until my body makes me stop” – and there is more truth in that statement than most people realise,’ says Dr Joy. 

‘Think of your immune system as your body’s in-house “maintenance team”,’ she continues. ‘When everything is running smoothly, the maintenance team has plenty of time to repair, restore and keep everything functioning well. But if every available resource is constantly being redirected towards managing ongoing stress, and preparing to fight, flight or freeze, there are fewer people left doing the repair work. Over time, the body’s maintenance team begin to fall behind.’

‘Research consistently shows that prolonged stress can reduce immune function, thus making us more vulnerable to illness and slowing recovery,’ she adds. ‘Your body isn’t failing when you get ill – it has simply been asking the maintenance team to do too many jobs at once. Your nervous system is not trying to make life harder when it becomes dysregulated. It is trying to tell you that it has been protecting you for a long time and it needs some support, consideration and prioritisation.’

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