The childhood origins of anxiety and depression: understanding where your patterns began

If you are experiencing anxiety or depression, you might be wondering if something happened in your childhood to trigger these struggles. But while certain childhood experiences can create patterns that follow you into adulthood, this doesn’t mean change isn’t possible.

Understanding where your anxiety or depression stems from is a personal journey many people undertake. And while mental health issues are most commonly the result of several different factors culminating together, childhood experiences can play a significant role.

‘When we’re struggling in adulthood, it’s natural to look backwards and wonder whether something in our childhood might help explain the way we think, feel or respond to the world today,’ explains Dr Jemma Anderson, a specialist educational and child psychologist and founder of educational psychology service, Perceptive.

‘These questions are not about looking for someone to blame,’ she adds. ‘They are about making sense of ourselves. Understanding where our patterns began can offer compassion, insight, and importantly, hope.’

Do anxiety and depression always stem from childhood?

‘Anxiety and depression rarely have one single cause,’ Dr Jemma tells us. ‘They emerge from a complex interaction between our genetics, temperament, relationships, experiences and environments we grow up in. Childhood is one important part of this story – but it does not determine our future.’

While childhood is rarely the only cause behind anxiety or depression, it is a significant time in your life when you learn to how to form relationships and make sense of the world around you – so it makes sense that certain experiences could shape how you evolve into adulthood.

‘Childhood is a period of extraordinary development, when the brain and nervous system are learning from the environment around you,’ Dr Jemma explains. ‘Through your earliest relationships, you begin to develop a sense of whether the world feels safe, whether your emotions are manageable, whether other people can be trusted, and whether you yourself are worthy of care and connection. Children do not simply experience events. They experience relationships.’

When emotional needs go unmet

‘When children experience consistent warmth and emotional attunement – the sense of being truly seen and understood – they gradually learn that their feelings can be understood, difficulties can be managed, and that relationships offer support during hard times,’ explains Dr Jemma. ‘These experiences build emotional regulation, resilience and a secure sense of self.’

‘In contrast, when a child’s emotional needs are repeatedly misunderstood, dismissed or unsupported, they may develop different ways of adapting,’ she adds. ‘They might learn to hide their emotions, become highly sensitive to other people’s moods, avoid asking for help, or feel that they must cope alone. These adaptations are not signs that something is wrong with the child. They are understandable responses to the environment in which that child learned to navigate the world.’

The impact of childhood trauma

Many believe mental health issues can be traced back to one significant event in childhood, but the reality is often more complex and multifaceted. ‘When people hear the word trauma, they often image a single frightening event,’ Dr Jemma says. ‘But psychological research also recognises the impact of repeated experiences that shape a child’s sense of safety and belonging – experiences that may be subtle and not always recognised at the time. A child can grow up in a loving family and still have periods where their emotional world felt lonely, unpredictable or hard to navigate.’

‘This is not about blaming parents,’ she adds. ‘Most were doing their best while carrying their own experiences, stresses and limitations. Understanding how childhood shaped us does not require us to view our caregivers negatively. It allows us to develop a more compassionate understanding of ourselves and the people who influenced our early lives.’

Understanding where your patterns began

By looking back at your childhood, you might be able to trace how certain patterns or difficulties emerged. ‘For some adults, the ways they learned to cope in childhood can become patterns that create difficulties later in life,’ Dr Jemma explains. ‘Being responsible and self-sufficient may develop into perfectionism or difficulty accepting support. Being highly aware of other people’s emotions may become anxiety about keeping others happy. Learning to push difficult feelings aside may make it harder to recognise or process emotions in adulthood.’

It’s important to note that while the patterns that lead to anxiety and depression can begin in childhood, this does not mean everyone who experienced difficulties in childhood will develop mental health problems. Similarly, people who felt fully supported and nurtured as a child could still go on to develop anxiety or depression later in life.

‘Many of the patterns we struggle with as adults began as creative adaptations to the environments in which we first learned how to survive and belong,’ says Dr Jemma. ‘This does not mean that childhood experiences inevitably lead to mental health difficulties. Many people experience adversity and develop resilience. Genetics, later life experiences, relationships and protective factors all play an important role.’

Overcoming anxiety and depression later in life

Even if you do trace your anxiety or depression back to childhood, this does not mean you will be tied to these struggles for the rest of your life. ‘The same research that helps us understand how early experiences shape development also reminds us that change is possible,’ Dr Jemma explains. ‘The brain remains capable of adaptation throughout life. Supportive relationships and psychological therapies can help people develop different ways of understanding themselves and relating to others.’

While looking back at your childhood can help you to understand yourself better, it’s important to use this knowledge to move forward – rather than remaining fixated on the past. ‘Understanding the origins of your struggles is not about becoming trapped in the past,’ Dr Jemma tells us. ‘It is about recognising that the ways you learned to cope often made sense at the time – and that you can learn new ways of responding when those old patterns no longer serve you.’

‘Perhaps the most helpful question is not, “what is wrong with me?” but rather, “what happened that taught me to respond this way?”,’ she adds. ‘When we understand our own story with curiosity and compassion, we create the possibility of writing a different next chapter.’

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