‘It takes about 90 days to train your mind out of a habit such as impatience,’ says Mike Fisher, founder and director of the British Association of Anger Management and author of Beating Anger and Mindfulness And The Art Of Managing Anger. Try these tips to manage your frustration…
1. ‘STOP, THINK, TAKE A LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE,’ says Fisher. What will you gain from getting impatient, and what will you lose?
2. DISTRACT YOURSELF. ‘People who always have a book with them on the train carry with them the ability to immerse themselves in another world,’ says psychology lecturer, writer and broadcaster Claudia Hammond. See train delays not as an irritating hold-up, but an opportunity for some reading time.
3. REFRAME YOUR IMPATIENCE. ‘Instead of seeing a delay as a waste of precious time, try to see it as an enforced rest in an otherwise hectic day, where you can just sit and be alone for a while,’ suggests Hammond. ‘And remember not to blame yourself for events that are out of your hands.’ Just sit back and go with the moment.
4. MANAGE YOUR TIME. ‘Whether it’s being in front of a computer when you are phoning a call centre or practising a speech while you’re queuing for coffee, using your time well alleviates your sense of wasted time and helps to keep your mind focused,’ says Octavius Black, co-founder of Mind Gym.
5. COMMUNICATE. ‘Every time you feel impatient, tell someone,’ says Fisher. ‘Expressing rather than suppressing your emotions will become habitual, it will help you recognise patterns and vent emotions.’ If you really can’t talk about it, write it down in an anger-management journal. ‘You need to stop giving anger and impatience space in your head.’
Read Why you get triggered at work and how to stay calm by Obi James on LifeLabs