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Top 3 dating tips from Project Love

Life coaches Vicki Burtt and Selina Barker offer their advice for those who are looking for love

by Psychologies

1. Be real

Waiting to respond to a text or modifying your behaviour so that he asks you out again is just an attempt to control and manipulate your love life. There is nothing real about being calculating and nothing loving about this way of doing things. Be yourself – the results can’t be any worse than how you’ve fared already.

2. Be open

Often couples in happy relationships have ended up with people they’d never have imagined would be their type. So ditch your long shopping list of what you’re looking for in a partner – what he looks like, what his interests are, his job. Instead, focus on how you want to feel in a relationship and let that be your guide.

3. Take a break

If you’re feeling a little uninspired and lethargic about dating, then take time out to dose up on some inspiration and come back to it later with a fresh perspective and renewed energy. Spend time with people who are in happy and healthy relationships, read or listen to real love stories online and think about how you want to feel when you’re in a relationship – then do things that help you to connect with those feelings. Sometimes you’ll need a weekend off, sometimes a couple of weeks. Do whatever it takes to get you feeling fully refreshed.

Project Love's ‘Get Ready for Love’ 30-day course costs £69. See loveprojectlove.com

Meanwhile if you're in a relationship but would like to make it better, sign up for Psychologies Life Labs Practical Wisdom online course How to Save Your Relationship here

Photograph: Corbis