Seven in ten midlife women have experienced a sexual-health issue in the past year — so why is it still so taboo?

The symptoms are common. The conversations aren’t. New research reveals the physical and emotional toll of sexual-health changes — and why so many women feel they simply have to put up with them.

For many women, it starts with something that seems easy to dismiss. Sex becomes uncomfortable. Desire quietly disappears. Perhaps it’s too embarrassing to mention, even to a partner. Perhaps you tell yourself it’s just part of getting older.

New research suggests that sexual-health symptoms are far more common than many women realise — and that the emotional toll can be just as significant as the physical symptoms.

A survey of 2,000 women aged 38 to 70, commissioned by digital healthcare provider Voy, found that 58% had experienced at least one sexual health symptom in the previous 12 months. Among women aged 45 to 54, that figure rose to 68%.

The most commonly reported symptoms were low or no desire for sex (36%), urinary leaks or urgency (30%) and vaginal dryness (26%).

“Sexual health symptoms are incredibly common,” says Dr Angela Wright, a sexual-wellbeing and menopause specialist, and clinical advisor for Voy. “Yet these findings show just how many women are continuing to live with them without support.”

When sexual health starts affecting how you feel about yourself

Sexual health can be easy to separate from the rest of our wellbeing, as though symptoms exist in one part of the body while the rest of our emotional lives carry on unaffected. In reality, the two can become closely intertwined.

Half of the women experiencing sexual-health symptoms said they affected their quality of life either somewhat or a lot. Almost half (47%) said they affected their sex life or relationships.

The emotional impact was even more widespread: 81% said their symptoms affected them emotionally.

Dr Wright says the impact can extend well beyond the symptom itself. “Experiencing symptoms such as vaginal dryness, changes in desire, urinary symptoms or pain during sex can have a profound impact on confidence, relationships, emotional wellbeing and quality of life,” she says.

That can create a difficult emotional loop. A woman who finds sex uncomfortable may begin to avoid intimacy. Avoidance may then bring guilt or worry about a relationship. A change in desire may lead to questions about whether she is still attracted to her partner — or whether something is wrong with her.

And the longer a woman feels unable to talk about what is happening, the more isolated the experience can become.

The psychological effect of that shouldn’t be underestimated. Something that initially feels minor can gradually influence confidence, intimacy and how comfortable someone feels in their own body. Among women aged 45 to 54, low or no desire for sex had the greatest impact.

Why “it’s just ageing” can be such a powerful barrier to tackling sexual health

Perhaps one of the most revealing findings is how rarely women talk about these experiences. Just 13% said they had ever spoken to a medical professional about their sexual health, while 57% had never spoken to anyone about their symptoms — including friends or their partner.

The reasons are telling. Twenty-seven per cent cited embarrassment, while the same proportion believed their symptoms were a normal part of ageing. A further 20% felt their symptoms weren’t serious enough.

For some women, the word “normal” can become a reason not to seek help. If friends are experiencing similar changes, if nobody talks openly about them, and if popular culture presents ageing as something women should simply accept, it can be difficult to know where ordinary change ends and something worth discussing begins.

Dr Wright believes that this attitude can leave women feeling that they have no choice but to put up with symptoms.

“The belief that these changes are simply a normal part of ageing, combined with embarrassment and a lack of awareness about available treatments, can create a cycle where women feel they have to put up with symptoms rather than seek help,” she says.

“Sexual wellbeing is an important part of overall health,” she says, “and women deserve to feel informed, listened to and able to access appropriate, person-centred care.

“We need to make conversations about sexual health, as well as treatment, much more routine, so that women don’t have to reach a crisis point before they feel able to ask for help.”

Words: Lucy Rawlinson, Images: Shutterstock