Heading off on vacation with friends this summer? These are the expert tips you need to know to avoid arguments on your trip

Vacations should be a time of relaxation – but when you’re outside of your usual routine, tensions with friends can arise. We asked the experts how to keep trips fun and argument-free this summer.

Words: Amy Mica Marsden. Images: Shutterstock.

We all deserve a break when we can – and taking a trip with our friends is one of the best ways to get out, relax, and have some fun.

If you’re planning a vacation with your friends, there are lots of decisions to make – where to go, how to get there, where to stay, what to do, and more.

But no amount of careful planning can predict the bumps in the road that come up while we’re away from our home comforts. When you’ve spent more time with someone than usual and things go wrong or priorities clash, even the most solid friendships can take a hefty blow.

Vacation woes

According to a survey by travel app Vrbo, one in three US travelers say they’ve gotten into a fight with their friends on a group trip, with arguments often springing up about unexpected costs, splitting things fairly, itinerary troubles and more.

‘People can be extremely particular about how much money they will spend on sightseeing, eating at restaurants and accommodations, and how much time they will spend at these places,’ says registered Psychotherapist Lavlet Forde. ‘You’d be surprised how a trip can start off rocky with an argument centered around time versus money.’

For example, Lavlet says, imagine you’ve just landed at the airport and you need to figure out how to get to the hotel. One person wants to save money by taking the subway, whereas another wants to save time by taking an Uber. And thus, tensions arise.

How to prevent problems

So how can we reduce those tensions and ensure our friendships remain intact throughout our trip (and beyond)?

We asked Dovi Goretz, Chief Technology Officer at real-time flight price alert platform SlickTrip, for his top tips on how to make sure our trips end as smoothly as they begin:

1. Set a shared budget early, before booking anything. It is important to discuss accommodation style, dining expectations, and splurge limits early. Doing so will help prevent any resentment later and ensure that everyone is comfortable with the costs, which will help to reduce any awkward money conversations during the trip itself.

2. Assign the planning roles to help avoid decision fatigue and frustration. For example, one person can handle booking the hotel or Airbnb, another friend can plan out transportation, another can figure out local activities and excursions, etc. You can even rotate these responsibilities on future trips so no one feels overburdened. Having this clear ownership will streamline the planning and allow group input on key decisions.

3. Make sure to build in alone time during the trip, as it will prevent burnout and keep the friendship strong. Friends don’t have to do everything together, and splitting up for a few hours can allow everyone to recharge and explore any locales or activities they are interested in that others didn’t want to check out. Then friends will return with better energy and less irritation.

4. Communicate openly and often to help keep any small frustrations from turning into bigger conflicts. It’s important to check in daily about plans, preferences, and energy levels. This will allow you to address any issues early and respectfully rather than letting resentment build. These honest but kind conversations will help maintain trust and keep the trip enjoyable for everyone.

5. Keeping a flexible itinerary is a must for reducing pressure and arguments. So instead of scheduling every single hour, choose one or two must-do activities per day and then leave space for spontaneity. This will allow you and your friends to break off, adjust plans, or rest without feeling like you are putting a damper on the group’s experience.

Happy holidays

The most important thing is that you all know what to expect from the holiday before you get there – or even before you book it.

And while you’re there? Don’t expect your friends to be mind-readers – if there’s something you’re unhappy about, be sure to calmly express it. 

Psychotherapist Lavlet’s final tip is to make sure you’re following the acronym SPACE for a smooth vacation: Space, patience, accountability, communication, and evaluation. Don’t spend all your time together; make sure to be patient and communicate your needs and worries, evaluate your needs and compromises, and if something is wrong, always take accountability.

And the good news: if your trip goes well, you know who to go to when it’s time to book the next one! Happy travelling.