Test: What’s your personal boundary weak spot?

Every relationship is unique as it is created by the two individuals involved, so it’s normal to have varying boundaries with different friendships. Friendship boundaries also change depending on what is going on in peoples’ lives — most of us would tolerate lateness and cancelling in a friend going through a tough time, or occasional flakiness from a friend who makes up for it in other ways.

In the end, we have little control over others’ behaviour, and trying to change people is usually a frustrating waste of time and energy. But what we can do is work on our own self-awareness, and if there are multiple elements of your social interactions and friendship dynamics that are niggling you, it’s time to take a look at the patterns of your social life and where you’re ignoring your gut instincts. You might be particularly vulnerable to weak friendship boundaries if you’re a super empathic person and feel emotionally impacted by other people’s problems.

Even if you thrive on really being there for people, you’ll eventually feel burned out or used if you don’t get anything in return. At the root of good friendship boundaries is love and respect — for yourself as well as others. Connecting honestly with others starts with connecting with yourself.