When Did We Stop Being Beginners?

My daughter has recently been learning to wear contact lenses.

If you wear them, you probably don’t think twice about it now.

But remember the beginning?

Putting something in your eye is not exactly instinctive.

There’s the hesitation.
The blinking.
The missed attempts.
The frustration of knowing what you’re supposed to do, but not yet being able to do it easily.

And then you try again.

At one of her eye appointments, the optician watched patiently as she tried, paused, and tried again.

Then came something simple, but powerful:

“You’re doing really well,” he said. “Honestly, this is exactly what it looks like at the beginning. Most people find this awkward for a while. You’re right on track.”

And I watched my daughter’s shoulders drop slightly.

Not because the task suddenly became easy.

But because she had been validated in the difficulty of it.

She wasn’t behind.
She wasn’t failing.
She was learning.

Watching her patiently learn this new skill made me notice something about myself.

When did I become so reluctant to be bad at something new?

As adults, we get very used to competence.

We know how to do our jobs.
Navigate our lives.
Drive the car.
Make the dinner.
Use the technology.
Manage the diary.

And without really noticing, we can begin to avoid things that make us feel like beginners.

Yet here was my daughter, accepting that something felt awkward simply because she hadn’t learnt how to do it yet.

Not I can’t do this.

Just:

I’m learning.

There’s a big difference.

Because learning asks something of us.

Patience.
Curiosity.
Repetition.
A willingness to get it wrong.
And enough self-compassion to try again.

And sometimes, what we need most in those moments is what the optician gave her:
a calm voice saying, this is normal, you’re doing fine, keep going.

It made me wonder where I might need to become a beginner again.

What new technology could I get better at using?

What new way idea could I experiment with?

What conversation, hobby, skill or adventure have I been avoiding because I’d rather feel competent than clumsy?

Perhaps part of staying ourselves is actually staying teachable.

Being willing to step beyond what we already know and discover what else we might be capable of.

And being willing to hear – and accept – encouragement when we’re in the messy middle of learning.

Sometimes our children aren’t the ones who need us to show them how to grow.

Sometimes they’re showing us.

What are you willing to be a beginner at right now?

Perhaps coaching could support you as you start the journey?

I’m Sarah Cretegny, an Accredited Transitions Coach, Founder of Coach Your Wild and Author of The Wild Within. I help individuals, groups and teams navigate real-life transitions without losing themselves.

I’m particularly effective when time is limited and the stakes are high. I draw on evidence-based coaching approaches, strengths expertise and my lived experience of leadership, family life and international living.

I’m passionate about partnering with people to coach their wild – because the world needs more radically authentic leaders, now more than ever.

Based in Lausanne, Switzerland, I coach virtually around the world.

Find my links: https://linktr.ee/discover.your.wild