Trying to fit too much in? Why summer overwhelm can hit so hard — and how to enjoy the season more

Summer can begin as a neat little pile of possibilities: a weekend away, a birthday picnic, a swim in the sea. But somehow, by the time you’ve tried to fit everything in, it resembles an overpacked suitcase. What often falls out first are the things you were hoping to keep hold of — rest, slowness and time with the people you love.

A couple of years ago, I took on far too much over the summer. I travelled, went on work trips and had some wonderful experiences, but by autumn I was exhausted. I’d look at my calendar and sigh at everything I had lined up. I’d been so busy saying yes that I hadn’t even had time to sit in the garden with my husband for a drink.

So this year, I’m approaching summer differently. I spoke to counsellor Georgina Sturmer about how we can enjoy the season without becoming overwhelmed by it.

“Summer plans come loaded with pressure, and so many of us spend all year looking forward to those bright, balmy days,” Sturmer tells me.

“The challenge is that in the summer we don’t have more time or energy or money than at other times of year, but we’re bombarded with ideas for how to spend this time. It can feel like every weekend, every evening, is a chance to have one of those ‘perfect’ summer moments.”

The problem, she says, is that reality rarely matches those expectations. “This invariably leads to a sense of disappointment that our summer isn’t as exciting or fun as we’d hoped — especially in comparison to what we might see other people experiencing.”

Comparison culture can make things even harder. “In some cases, the pressure of having a ‘great’ summer is also linked with the pressure of showing the world that we are having a ‘great’ summer through our social-media feed,” she says. “The priority moves away from actually enjoying ourselves and towards creating ‘Insta-worthy’ experiences, which can ultimately feel dissatisfying.”

Decision fatigue adds to summer overwhelm

If you’ve ever spent hours scrolling holiday options only to close the browser without booking anything, you’ve probably experienced decision fatigue.

“Not only can we be overwhelmed by choice,” says Sturmer, “but we might also find ourselves pulled in different directions. We are juggling plans, but we might also be worried about disappointing others or letting people down.”

Her advice is to let go of the idea of a perfect summer.

“Figure out a plan that suits you, not anybody else,” she says. “Sometimes decision fatigue isn’t actually down to the amount of choices we’re juggling — it’s linked with us finding it difficult to say no.”

That rings true for me. Looking back, I wasn’t overwhelmed because there were too many options; I was overwhelmed because I kept agreeing to things when what I really needed was time to rest.

One thing that helps me now is narrowing holiday research into a shortlist rather than endlessly scrolling. Saving a few favourite options in one document makes the decision feel far more manageable.

Making time for yourself

Of course, not everyone has the freedom to fill summer with holidays and long weekends. Work, finances, childcare and health can all limit what’s possible.

So how do we still find time to rest and overcome summer overwhelm naturally?

“The easiest way is to make it really simple,” says Sturmer. “There are three key areas we need to focus on: getting outside, connecting with others and moving our bodies.”

If finding big blocks of free time feels impossible, she recommends thinking smaller.

“Schedule micro-moments into your diary,” she says. “They really matter, and they’ll likely make you more productive in the long run too.”

Understanding your values

When we’re overwhelmed by choices, getting in touch with our values can help us decide how to spend our precious time.

“It can be helpful to look back on previous summers and tune in to what you really enjoyed,” Sturmer suggests. “It’s often not the most complex plans or the most expensive or glamorous ones that are the most memorable — it’s the ones where you felt truly relaxed or like yourself.”

When I think about my favourite summers, I remember holidays, but I also remember the small moments: a pint of cider in a beer garden after a walk, celebrating a friend’s birthday in the park, an evening stroll around the neighbourhood. Travel matters to me, but what ties those memories together is connection.

A good summer, I’ve realised, isn’t about squeezing everything in. It’s about making space for the moments that matter most — whether that’s swimming in the sea, exploring somewhere new, or simply sitting outside with my husband, sharing a drink on a slow summer afternoon.

Words: Caroline Butterwick, Images: Shutterstock