Is there an alarm going off in your life — and are you listening to it?

My Alarm was set to silent 

I realised my Alarm was set to silent, but I felt its constant vibration.  

There wasn’t a burnout, a redundancy (although there’s a story), divorce, or major illness. It was more a feeling of quiet discomfort, of not being me. On paper, I probably looked ok, ticked all the life boxes and met everyone’s perceived expectations: nice house, nice car, lovely children, nice husband, but I felt flat, a bit sad, and exhausted. 

In coaching, I’ve heard others say, “I feel stuck,” and “I don’t know who I am anymore,” Or “I’ve spent so long looking after everyone else that I’ve forgotten what I want.” And “There must be more than this.” I recognise all of those statements. 

My alarm was buzzing away for years, but I ignored it as there were so many other needs that I felt were more important than my own, plus I was trying to be the model daughter, wife, mother, friend (I failed at this, I confess – sorry girls).  

After more than twenty-five years working in project and programme management across a range of industries in the UK and internationally, I built a fairly successful career helping organisations deliver transformational business change. On the surface, I was doing what many people strive for, leading large programmes, solving complex problems, and working with diverse teams to achieve ambitious goals. Some exciting, some scary. 

What has always fascinated me most wasn’t the process, the technology, or even the outcomes. It was always the people, and the way they react and interact with each other. 

What is true, and what I have regularly observed around me, is that there’s always something else going on. Over the years, unlike the Apple TV show Severance, I became increasingly aware that people rarely come to work carrying only their work problems. Life comes with us too, and we can’t shut one off over the other.  

The turning point for me came as my parents’ dementia progressed, and I found myself needing to be more present in their lives. At the same time, my own experiences with chronic migraine had already taught me powerful lessons about stress, resilience, and the connection between mind and body, as well as a beneficial introduction to Pain Reprocessing Coaching.  

These experiences prompted me to reflect on the pace at which I was living, or at least trying to, and the assumptions I had made about success. What surprised me wasn’t that I was leaving an established career — though I’ll admit the downturn in salary is a shock — but I have since felt space and a relief. For years, I had been negotiating with myself, discounting parts of me that mattered in order to meet professional expectations. When I stopped that, I felt lighter, calmer, more open to opportunities, and now even my Heart Rate Variability has begun to improve, hopefully suggesting that my nervous system is more regulated. 

So my alarm going off was the start of me listening to myself, and has allowed me space to also listen to others.  

My passions now lie in helping people create an authentic life with fewer regrets. Not perfect, as that brings too much pressure in itself. Instead, decisions can be made consciously rather than by default. One where wellbeing is valued as highly as productivity, and where we have permission to choose what matters most to us. So the question I leave with is this: Can you hear your alarm? Can you continue to ignore it, or are you ready to listen? And act on it?  

I plan on using my new blog as an outlet for my alarm, where I will think about all the ways this can affect us.