TEST: Can you set boundaries?

1. Your partner is feeling down. You:
Talk to them about it to find out what’s wrong
Suggest a pick-me-up and organise a few outings
Put up with it. What can you do?
Have a serious talk. If it carries on like this how will the relationship last?
2. You offer to take a friend out for dinner for her birthday. They suggest a really expensive restaurant. You:
Agree without making a fuss. You wouldn’t want them to think you stingy
Get angry. Do they think you’re a millionaire or something?
Talk to them about your money worries. You know they’ll understand
Get out of it by saying you would prefer to surprise them with the venue
3. Your colleague was feeling a bit down so you worked really hard to help him out. The manager thought the results were great and has congratulated him. You:
Are glad it seems to have boosted his confidence
Are proud of the work you did, even if you didn’t get the recognition
Hope that your colleague was at least grateful for your help
Are off to inform your manager that it was you who did all the work
4. Your partner has cancelled your night out for the second time in a row because he/she has to work late. You:
Insist on helping them out with the work – then you can still spend the evening together
Understand. He/she is snowed under
Think it’s about time you had a talk about where the relationship is going
Think he/she is really selfish. It won’t happen a third time!
5. Imagine you’re a child again. You have just built a sandcastle and another child comes and tramples on it. You:
Wait for him/her to build his/her own sandcastle and then go and trample on it
Shout at him/her and re-build your castle
Work yourself into a rage and have to hold back from hitting the other child
Sit sobbing over the loss of your masterpiece
6. Your new next-door neighbours keep popping round before dinner. Next time they turn up you:
Say you would rather not invite them in, as you are very tired. They’ll get the message eventually
Invite them in. It’s annoying, but you prefer to maintain good neighbourly relations
Invite them in. It’ll allow you to get to know them better
Let them know as kindly as possible that you would rather be left alone in the evenings
7. You bump into your best friend’s boyfriend, and he’s got his arm round a very attractive woman. You:
Tell your friend what you have seen and advise her to break up with him
Don’t breathe a word about it. It’s none of your business
Can no longer relax when he’s around
Can’t help being rude to him
8. Your mother doesn’t cope very well with the fact that you are single and is always trying to set you up with people. How do you react? You:
Remind her that you are perfectly capable of choosing your own partners
Remind her that you and she don’t necessarily go for the same type
Tell your mother that you are happy being single
Go along with it just to keep the peace
9. It’s one in the morning. You’ve just managed to get to sleep when a friend phones you. She is feeling very down. You:
Listen to her problems. That’s what friends are for!
Offer some advice but then suggest that you ring her back in the morning
Jump in a taxi and go over to cheer her up
Tell her it’s a bit late to be able to think clearly
10. You’ve got a romantic meal planned for this evening but your boss wants you to finish an important bit of work before you leave. You:
Agree to stay but ask for time off on Monday to make up for it
Are pleased because you like to be indispensable
Refuse to stay late. If you stay late this time, your boss will always expect it
You stay but you curse under your breath
11. A friend often asks you to baby-sit for her two difficult children while she goes out for the evening. You:
Usually agree – she needs to go out and have some fun from time to time
She’s pushing it. Next time you will say no
Agree only when you are feeling energetic
Decide to help her look for a regular baby-sitter...
12. You’re working on a team project and you’ve been partnered with the person who everyone knows doesn’t pull their weight. You:
Will show them how it’s done and you’ll get there in the end
Go straight to your boss and ask to be paired with someone more efficient
Will do your bit but no more than that
Know you’ll have to do twice the work