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The friendship seesaw: When a friend is only happy if they are high and you are low

Toxic friendships don’t usually begin with betrayal or cruelty. According to best-selling author and therapist Marisa Peer, they begin the moment one person needs the relationship to stay unequal — and doesn’t care what that does to the other person. All friendships go through difficult periods. Life changes, people drift, misunderstandings happen and the balance […]

Sally Saunders

10 July 2026

Friendships

Is your friend manipulating you? The secret signs psychologists say you shouldn’t ignore

Feeling guilty after seeing a friend? Constantly walking on eggshells or questioning yourself? Experts explain the overlooked signs of manipulation in friendships and how to tell when a relationship is no longer healthy. We often think of manipulation as something that happens in romantic relationships, but it can be just as damaging between friends. The […]

Sally Saunders

10 July 202610 July 2026

Is your friend manipulating you? The secret signs psychologists say you shouldn’t ignore

The friendship seesaw: When a friend is only happy if they are high and you are low

Is it really supposed to be this hard? The hidden cost of masking in friendship

Friendship is often portrayed as something that should come naturally. You message back, remember birthdays, make plans and turn up. But for some people, maintaining friendships feels like a full-time job — one that comes with constant guilt, anxiety and the feeling that everyone else has been given a rulebook they somehow missed. If you’ve […]

Why a break up with a friend can hurt as much (or even more) than with a lover

Friendship break-ups are often quiet, gradual and difficult to explain. Therapists say the pain they cause is rooted in our need for connection, while modern life can make those losses harder than ever to escape. The end of a romantic relationship is something most people recognise. There are conversations, expectations and a familiar language for […]

Is your relationship with your sister subtly shaping all your friendships?

From always putting others first to never quite feeling included, the role you play in your friendships may have been shaped decades before you even met your closest friends. We tend to think of friendships as something we choose freely as adults. We meet people, we connect, and we decide who feels right for us. […]