We don’t need to set ourselves an emotional obstacle course: it’s absolutely fine to enjoy the journey
A John Cleese quote I remember relating to enormously (possibly on Desert Island Discs) was that Michael Palin genuinely loves to travel, whereas John Cleese likes to have arrived.
Except in very specific circumstances, I will always be in the John Cleese camp. Especially during a heatwave.
Anxiety and I spend more time together the hotter it gets. Travelling is where I really notice it — especially how I think about travelling before the travelling actually happens. I go over the pros and cons of different routes; I look for how I ‘should’ do it; I ask myself what the ‘right’ answer is to how to get where I’m going; over and over, instead of asking the one question that matters, or listening to the answer of the one person with a right to an opinion.
The funniest thing about this is that it’s always the same answer. Most of my regular journeys involve going into the centre of London, and while there’s a mainline station closer by, I love the longer walk option that takes over Hammersmith Bridge. Yes, it probably hotter to do this than waiting for, then being on, the train to Waterloo. But it’s a beautiful route, and I find every bit of it more relaxing even (especially) before it’s begun. Yet still I interrogate myself with the same questions, set myself the same emotional obstacle course, every time. Reevaluating each step, instead of enjoying the journey.
So yesterday I only asked myself one question:
Which option means I can enjoy being where I am, instead of waiting to have arrived?
Because that’s another thing about Hammersmith Bridge: it’s very convenient for writing prompts. This time around I received this feather, and the overheard line from man to spaniel, ‘POTUS! NO!’ The spaniel in question was very obedient and reasonable, which made me question and hope I’d misheard the name (Maybe he was saying Lotus? I’ve been trying to think of options; do let me know if you have one). But whatever the truth of the external stimulus, that’s the story that made it into my notebook, where I compost (as Writing Down the Bones’ Natalie Goldberg has it) visual images, lines of dialogue, questions about the world, exercising the muscles of creativity and curiosity.
Think on the Page…
Award yourself a brownie point for every emotional obstacle course you spot yourself setting yourself this week, when a kinder and more useful question might be not which is the right option, but which option is right for me?
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Dr Rachel Knightley PCC
Author, Writing, Speaking and Confidence Coach
I’m an author, creative writing lecturer, professionally certified business and personal coach (PCC) and founder of The Writers’ Gym membership and podcast. There is nothing I love more (apart from writing) than supporting others to enhance, develop and celebrate their voice — whether that’s on the page or out loud, in life, work or art. My lifelong love of communication and performance began with acting and directing in theatres, schools, workplaces, charities and universities. It formed my fascination with perception and reality (leading to my PhD and to my PGCerts in Business and Personal Coaching with Barefoot and Teaching Creative Writing with Cambridge): how do the roles we play inform our identity? How much can our self-belief inhibit, or enhance, how we bring that self to our life, work and art? I bring all my knowledge and love of writing and speaking – and of how worthwhile the journey into creative confidence is for work and life – to every client relationship whether we’re together for a workshop, a course or a coaching session or programme.
