Test: What’s your secret confidence saboteur?

Your secret confidence saboteur might have sneaked into your life disguised as a source of inspiration – comparing yourself to people you admire.

But if you’re now measuring your worth against everyone else’s highlight reel and inevitably coming up short, it’s no surprise your confidence feels the impact. Social media has turbocharged this tendency, giving you endless opportunities to find someone who’s doing better, achieving more or looking happier than you.

But it may be that comparison was stealing your confidence long before smartphones – looking outward for validation rather than inward for self-acceptance can be a deeply ingrained habit. The painful truth is that there will always be someone more successful, more talented, more together than you. And there will always be someone less so.

Neither comparison tells you anything useful about your own worth. When you constantly measure yourself against others, you miss what makes you uniquely valuable, and that’s the key to confidence.

The confidence you’re seeking won’t come from finally being impressive or ‘better’ than others – it comes from accepting that comparison is a distraction from your own journey, and also an insidious form of self-criticism.

Start noticing when you’re comparing and gently redirect your attention to your own progress. Celebrate other people’s wins without making them mean anything about you. Your only meaningful comparison is only how far you’ve come.

Your next steps

1. Curate your social media – unfollow accounts that leave you feeling inadequate and follow ones that inspire without triggering comparison.

2. Keep a ‘wins’ list – record your own achievements and progress, however small, to remind yourself how far you've come.