How to find love: a meta spiritual perspective on relationships

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how to find love; couple in love make heart with hands

Psychologist, spiritual leader, author, and founder of Meta Spirituality, Nina Verkoeyen (@nina.verkoeyen), shares her insights into why humans long for connection and how to find lasting love. 

The quest for love

What is love, and why do we feel an innate urge to merge with another? These questions have intrigued humanity for centuries. While many of us have embarked on the journey of wondering how to find love, we often find ourselves in relationships that, though beautiful and enriching, don’t fulfill our deepest longing for eternal, unshakable connection. Why? According to Meta Spirituality, a spiritual movement founded by a former psychologist Nina Verkoeyen, these connections are often rooted in fear and created by our ego minds.

The urge for unity

At the heart of the Meta Spiritual approach to relationships lies the profound concept of unity. Every individual carries an innate desire for unity—a longing to know themselves as both the Creator and the Created. However, when we lack the awareness of this truth, we begin searching for external sources to fulfill this inner need. Herein lies the core challenge that most humans face in their pursuit of love and connection.

Seeking unity in the external world

Humans aspire to discover this sense of merger, to experience unity, to return to a state of wholeness, and to feel an unwavering sense of belonging. This profound yearning is our deepest desire, whether we recognize it consciously or not. Yet, we often seek this sense of belonging outside ourselves, in the external world. We attempt to find unity with others, with physical bodies, and then wonder why it feels fleeting and impermanent.

Our genuine desire is to belong deeply and securely to someone or something and, in return, to know unequivocally that someone or something belongs to us. This longing for belonging is what our hearts ache for.

Searching in the wrong place

The predicament arises when we try to locate this sense of belonging in the external world, a world devoid of intrinsic meaning yet a world created and extended by our own consciousness. We attempt to find unity through other people and physical connections, only to be disillusioned when these relationships fail to provide the enduring sense of trust, confidence, and certainty we crave. In this ever-changing world that mirrors our own fluidity, permanence remains elusive.

woman hugging herself; self love concept
While external relationships can enrich our lives, they should not be expected to provide what we have already found within ourselves.

The path to true unity

‘The key insight is that we can only attain this feeling of unity by returning to our true selves, bridging the Creator and the Created within us. Through this profound merging, we finally experience the belonging we seek—an unshakable connection where we are both the Creator and the Created,’ explains Nina Verkoeyen.

This Truth cannot be taken away; it remains constant and immutable. It does not rely on external circumstances, nor can anyone diminish it. It offers an unwavering sense of belonging that transcends words—the closest expression being, “I’ve come home; the search is over”.

From unity within to harmonious relationships

By residing in the Meta Self and merging with the Creator, we complete the cycle of love between the Creator and the created, discovering the inner unity we’ve yearned for. This unshakable foundation then influences how we approach all aspects of our life, including external relationships. When we embrace this Truth within us, our external relationships start to harmonize, align, and resemble the inner unity we’ve found.

How to find love: the key to fulfilling external relationships

In summary, building a truly fulfilling relationship with another person becomes possible only when we’ve internalized this knowledge and Truth. External relationships, reflecting our inner world, begin to align with the harmonious state we’ve discovered within. While external relationships can enrich our lives, they should not be expected to provide what we have already found within ourselves.

Understanding this Truth about ourselves allows us to create and nurture relationships that mirror the inner unity we’ve achieved. In this journey, we unlock the secrets of how to find lasting love—a love that originates from the deepest corners of our own being.

Nina Verkoeyen (@nina.verkoeyen) is a psychologist, spiritual leader, author, and founder of Meta Spirituality. Find out more about her work at metaspirituality.org.

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Nina Verkoeyen (@nina.verkoeyen) is a psychologist, spiritual leader, author, and founder of Meta Spirituality. Find out more about her work at metaspirituality.org.