That time I was glad I brought my superman towel with me: when nerves can make you miss out on things

I took one of my kids to a swimming party recently, and I went prepared with my swimming trunks and my Superman towel, just in case.

Now, you might think here that I mean “Just in case they need an extra parent in the pool” but actually I really mean “I hope they do need help so I am allowed to go in because I am pretty sure I remember there being a big water slide at this place.”

So Superman came with me.

Anyhow, when I get there, the parents organising it tell me that they have enough parents and I don’t have to go in, but that I am welcome to if I want. So my mind does what it usually does and it says:

“Yeah but are people going to think I am weird if I do?”

I did really want to go in. I can feel myself even now wanting to justify that, but by way of just explaining what was going on in my head it was something like: I’ve been feeling a bit stressed this week and while I think I would have a nice time chatting to some parents in the coffee place here, for me there is nothing that takes me out of my own head quite like doing something active, and I love being in the water. And I think my daughter would quite like me to get involved.

Plus, you know: the slide.

However, I am also concerned that there is the possibility that I am going to look like I am elbowing my way into a kids party for no reason.

Fair enough.

Anyhow, I have a few minutes to decide as all the kids are getting themselves sorted, so I am chatting away to a couple of parents, and then I make the decision:

“Ah I’m going to go for it.” And off I go.

I had a great time. Of course, I was on the lookout for ways in which I might be helpful, but broadly the kids were doing fine. There was some water polo going on so I joined in with that. Some of the other dads had had a go on the slide and I went up a couple of times when I saw it was clear, but when kids came to queue up behind me I felt guilty about taking up a turn for them, so I kept running away again.

Part of that is to do with my morals, but let’s be clear: part of that is to do with the fact that the queue for the slide was slap bang in front of the viewing gallery / coffee place where the rest of the parents were.

I did get a go on the slide in the end. And it was great. So was joining in with the kids playing water polo.

I was glad I took my Superman towel. It would have been perfectly pleasant to sit and have a chat, but getting involved was better.

I think the reason I wanted to write about this was that it struck me as an example of when feeling self-conscious nearly stopped me from getting a little bit more out of life than I might have otherwise.

Sometimes that’s the thing about feeling anxious about stuff. It’s not the feeling that is the worst part: it’s what is stops you from doing.

That, for me, is useful to know, because while I can’t completely stop myself from feeling nervous or anxious about stuff, I can take control of what I do. I can make a decision to do things anyway, despite the nerves.

And that’s liberating, I reckon.

Superman might approve.

Thanks for reading. Until next time,

Ted

P.S. I probably do need a new towel at some point but grown-up towels are so boring.