When misunderstanding becomes an invitation

I realised something yesterday when I shared a phrase from a chapter of the book I’m writing – something I’ve been living with for a while. Some people don’t “get” my use of the word wild because I’ve been inside its meaning for so long that I forgot it needed translating.

When we’re deeply immersed in a topic, it’s easy to forget that what feels obvious to us may not yet be shared language.

That realisation didn’t arrive as self-criticism – it arrived as information.

And that matters.

Because misunderstanding often gets framed as a failure:
a sign we didn’t explain ourselves clearly enough,
or that the other person is resistant, defensive, or closed.

But when misunderstanding is met with curiosity rather than judgement, it becomes something else entirely.

It becomes a place of discovery – for both sides.

Especially when we stay willing to examine our own assumptions about being understood.

Because wild, as I mean it, isn’t what many people assume.

Life is wild, humans are wilder 

In nature, animals respond to signals.

Hunger leads to eating.
Fatigue leads to rest.
Threat leads to movement.
Safety allows softening.

Nothing is moralised.
Nothing is overridden for the sake of productivity, politeness, or proving worth.

Humans, however, learn to do something different.

We override hunger with schedules.
We override exhaustion with caffeine and willpower.
We override intuition with logic.
We override emotion to remain acceptable.

In that sense, humans are wilder than the wild –
not because we are more free,
but because we are more disconnected from our own signals.

We possess complex nervous systems, deep emotional intelligence, and remarkable inner awareness – and then we learn not to trust them.

And often, whats really wild is we don’t even notice we’ve done it!

Wild is not rebellion – it’s remembering

So when I speak of wild, I’m not pointing towards chaos or escape.

I’m pointing towards reconnection.

To remembering how to listen again.
To noticing what the body, emotions, and instincts are already communicating.
To rebuilding trust with what has been quietly signalling all along.

Wild is not the absence of structure.
It’s the presence of relationship with ourselves and our creator.

Judgement shuts that relationship down quickly:

That doesn’t make sense.
That’s not practical.
That’s not how life works.

Curiosity keeps it open:

What do you mean by wild?
What if my signals aren’t the problem?
What might become possible if I listened?

And curiosity doesn’t demand immediate agreement – only willingness.

5 steps when you feel misunderstood or misunderstand others

Misunderstanding can activate defensiveness fast.
So if you find yourself misunderstanding someone or feeling unseen, mislabelled, or dismissed yourself, here’s a gentle way to meet that moment.

1. Notice what’s happening internally
   Before clarifying externally, pause.
   What’s the emotion here – frustration, sadness, urgency, fear of being dismissed?
   What does your body signal in this moment?
2. Separate meaning from identity
   Being misunderstood doesn’t mean you are unclear or your work doesn’t make sense.
   It means there is a gap in shared language and gaps are workable.
3. Get curious about the other person’s lens
   Instead of explaining harder, consider asking:

• What does that word mean to you?
• What associations does it bring up?
• What feels risky or unclear about it?

4. Translate, don’t persuade
   Clarification is not about convincing.
   It’s about meeting someone where they already are and offering a bridge.
5. Decide what’s yours to hold – and what isn’t
   Not everyone needs to resonate.
   Understanding is an invitation, not an obligation.

What misunderstanding revealed to me

When I got curious about why this language didn’t land for everyone, I discovered something important:

not everyone has been taught that listening inward is safe.
not everyone associates wild with wisdom.

That doesn’t make them wrong.

It simply means the invitation needs to be more spacious –  and more gentle.

For me, wild is not about breaking free from life.

It’s about coming home to it.

And sometimes, misunderstanding is the very doorway that shows us
where that home actually is.

So as I close… I encourage you to stay wild. In all the good senses of the word!

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I’m Sarah Cretegny, a Personal and Business Development Coach and Collaboration Catalyst. I create brave spaces where creative leaders and their teams – especially those committed to meaningful impact – can reconnect with who they truly are, so they can lead with greater clarity, courage, and purpose, even in uncertain times, and create sustainable impact.

I’m particularly effective when time is limited and the stakes are high. I draw on evidence-based coaching approaches, strengths expertise, and my lived experience of balancing leadership, family life, and international living. I’m deeply passionate about partnering with people to coach their wild, because the world needs more authentic leadership now more than ever.

I am based in Lausanne, Switzerland and coach virtually globally. Find my links: https://linktr.ee/discover.your.wild