Same Old, Same Old; Are the stories you tell yourself true or just familiar?

Life will always throw us curveballs. It’s inevitable. But what matters more than the event itself is how we respond to it. In today’s fast-paced, emotionally demanding world, learning how to build emotional awareness and resilience with mental fitness is not just important; it’s essential for thriving.

In my recent episode of my Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast entitled “The Same Old Story” (Listen here) I share how we all carry old stories, internal voices shaped by our past, childhood experiences, unhealed emotional wounds, and outdated belief systems.

But have you ever questioned;
Are they true?
Were they once true but are no longer?
Are they actually serving you positively, or are they hindering you negatively?

All too often, these internal narratives are triggering negative emotional reactions, not necessarily because of what’s happening now, but because of what has happened before.

These internal stories can cause unconscious patterns which create autopilot reactions: anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, overthinking, or avoidance. Self-awareness is the key to coming off these autopilot loops. It’s in these moments taking a pause we can ask ourselves, am I reacting from the past, or responding from the present?

Coaching, which has been growing for decades, helps with this self-awareness process and working with a Coach provides a powerful space for reflection and personal growth. It helps us build awareness, confidence, and resilience. One of the pioneers of modern coaching, Timothy Gallwey, author of the Inner Game of Tennis in 1974, described it with this very simple and powerful equation:

“Performance = Potential – Interference.”

That “interference” often lives in our mind, self-doubt, self-condemnation, fear, and limiting beliefs/assumptions, which so often are not true. Coaching helps us uncover these blocks and replace them with empowering truths.

As a Mental Fitness Coach trained in Positive Intelligence, I see firsthand how building mental fitness helps people become more emotionally aware and from there we can regain control over their emotional reactions. Mental fitness is the ability to handle life’s challenges with a positive rather than negative mindset.

Rooted in neuroscience, cognitive psychology, and mindfulness, this framework helps rewire our brain’s response patterns. We learn to activate our inner Sage, our intuitive, wise, and compassionate self, while quieting our Saboteurs, those inner critics that thrive on fear and self-sabotage, which result in interference.

One of the simplest yet most profound tools I have been practising is The Power of the Pause.

Inspired by Viktor Frankl’s wisdom: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose.”

It’s not even about the choice you make, the power is that you are consciously aware of the choice you are making, which enables you to start the process of coming off unconscious autopilot loops.

That pause allows us to shift from reactivity to intentional response. It’s where healing begins. It’s where we can choose love over fear, curiosity over judgment, and calm over chaos.

In time, with practice, you can move from being reactive to proactive.

What I have also learnt personally is that my emotional triggers were not the problem, they were in fact my best messengers. When I stopped burying them and instead confronted them with unconditional love and gentleness, they taught me so much about myself.

They are teachers when we are ready to learn. They reveal what still needs healing. When we pause, reflect, and reconnect, we begin to rewrite the old scripts that no longer serve us.

Through coaching, we learn that we are not our triggers, we are the observer, the healer, and when we decide to invest time in ourselves, getting to know, understand and love ourselves, we can be the author of a new, more empowering, uplifting, life-enhancing story.

Building mental fitness doesn’t mean you won’t face setbacks. It means when life knocks you down, throws you that curve ball, you bounce back up quicker, stronger, with awareness, self-compassion, clarity, with learning. It’s about building the emotional muscles that empower you to respond wisely, not react impulsively.

Being human means feeling deeply. But being mentally fit means not letting those feelings hijack your truth, your power, or your potential. And that’s the path of empowerment, learning how to hold space for yourself, rewriting the same old stories, so you can live from your true essence.

After working with a client, she shared the feedback that what had made the most positive impact in her daily life was the simple but profound power of the pause. She did admit that initially her inner voices told her that it would be too simple to work, but despite those voices, she had faith and put it into practice regularly, and reported a positive, empowering impact.

Takeaways to Anchor You:

1. Mental Fitness is Built, Not Born:
   Like a muscle, your brain can be trained. When you commit to regular practice of pausing, reflecting, and responding consciously, you build strength that helps you navigate life’s inevitable curveballs with grace and clarity.
2. Your Triggers Are Teachers:
   Instead of running from them or judging yourself for having them, get curious. Triggers show you where healing is needed. They’re not the enemy, they’re the doorway to transformation.
3. Self-Love is Your Foundation, Not a Fluff:
   Real change starts with real care, for yourself. When you practice unconditional self-love, you stop outsourcing your worth and start living from your core. This isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

You Are the Author

I know, you too have the power to transform the way you experience life by letting go of those outdated beliefs, those same old stories holding you back, and by practising the power of the pause, you can create a life rooted in love, not fear.

As a coach and woman committed to the self-love movement, I agree with the words of Abiola Abrams; To love yourself is a revolutionary act.

Take ownership of your life and join the self-love movement; it’s one journey you will never regret taking.

I am a Mental Fitness Self-Love Coach with the Coaching R-Framework; Recognise – Realise – Reconnect – Release

This process helps you to understand, know and love yourself like you were never taught to do growing up. You fall in love with yourself so you can become the guru of your own life.

Tune in to my Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast here. Also available on all podcast platforms.

If you want to find out more about coaching or mental fitness and how it can help you don’t hesitate to get connect with me, for a free no-obligation call, via my website www.pacoaching.co.uk