My Perimenopause Diaries: When Others Don’t Understand

Dear Diary,

I am back in my London home after three months with my family in Spain and, wow after days of emotional rollercoaster, I feel myself slowly coming back into my own rhythm.

One very practical lesson I’ve learned from communing with Ayahuasca, a sacred master plant teacher in the Amazonian tradition, is to honour my timing and make peace with my rhythm. And oh boy, have my rhythms evolved since journeying with Peri! She (as in Peri) forces you to!

Do you know what I have noticed? That sometimes changed personal rhythms can be triggering to others even if they know you are going through “something.” Maybe if I were walking around with a bandaged head it would be easier for them to understand this intense life transition. But since I’m not, I often find myself dismissed, as if: “Yes yes, okay, you are perimenopausal, but can you put yourself together and focus now?” kind of attitude.

I guess part of this is my responsibility for not educating my inner circle about it. They can’t be expected to know the depth and profoundness of this life-altering experience unless I share it. I feel I need to be more open and explicit with them, and not only outside my inner circle…

I was also talking to one of my friends recently. I mentioned how I’ve been having some great moments and others where I struggled more. In his very caring and kind demeanour, as ever, he said: “Can’t you take anything for it?” I responded that this is not a formula. It’s a personal journey, and it’s not like taking a painkiller for back pain and the next day you’re normal. To which he responded: “Men have no idea”. How right he is… and really, it’s not only men, anyone not going through it (women included) can find it hard to understand. Now, I get that every woman is different and Peri shows up differently too. I am also aware that my Peri is more complex because of my own health background.

By the way… Menopause Awareness Month begins next month (October), and World Menopause Day is on the 18th of October. This is great, the more awareness the better.

Since we are talking about celebrating awareness-themed months, do you know what I would love to see? A “Hormonal Cycle Awareness Month”. There is already a “National Menstrual Health Awareness Month” in May that highlights period health and other important topics, which is necessary. What I’m pointing to here is something broader: recognising that each phase of the cycle offers us different strengths and ways of moving through life that need honouring, whilst remembering we are not linear beings. Menstruation is only one part of our personal landscape… there is so much more. Maybe I should create it…

I also have a hypothesis: not honouring our hormonal cycle during menstruating years may well shape how we experience menopause later on.

Going back to Menopause, the theme this year is Lifestyle Medicine, emphasizing the impact of nutrition, exercise, sleep, and stress management. Love it…

It’s quite late now, time for a little meditation, and to prepare for bed.

Until next week,

Lara 🌹

A loving note: I’m sharing my lived experience as a woman who menstruates, knowing that not all women do, and not everyone who menstruates identifies as a woman. This is not advice or a recommendation. If something here inspires you, please research, honour your intuition, check local laws, and seek qualified professional support. Any brands I mention are simply personal favourites; I’m not paid, gifted or affiliated. If that ever changes, I’ll label it clearly. 🧡