My Perimenopause Diaries: When “not right now” is medicine
Overwhelm grew when I pushed; it softened when I listened. Perimenopause asked for gentler approaches. I cancelled the non-essentials, took nourishing walks, and let “not right now” be my medicine.
Dear Diary,
Ouffff, what a couple of weeks I’ve had… If there was an overarching theme, it was a deep sense of overwhelm.
Whenever I tried to push through, it only grew… and instead I kept getting “not right now.”
I’m a big believer that perimenopause offers medicine on every level. Overwhelm isn’t just hormonal fluctuation for me; I believe one of its invitations is to direct our energy to the right place and to simplify, simplify, simplify…
I did the best I could… and I leaned on a few simple tools for support, although the most powerful one for me was mostly sitting with it and letting it be.
Bach Rescue Remedy helped me. I paused my weight training and focused on nourishing walks. I ate the right foods for me. I cancelled all non-essential commitments. I focused on what was really important. I super love the relax body oil from Yogandha, it’s perfect for those intense moments. A while ago I fell for Cheerful Buddha’s Cacao Bliss, a holistic and nutritious superfood hot chocolate, for when it isn’t the right moment for a majestic cup of raw Peruvian cacao. This one deserves its own diary entry; it’s that powerful and relevant for Peri.
Do you know what also really helped? Having my own space to tuck myself away, where I can breathe, exhale, rest and listen to my body… I call it “my womb chapel”. Only my beloved furry family were allowed in…
On another note, a few days ago I saw published on Linkedin a well-known coaching framework about comfort zones: the comfort zone, the fear zone, the learning zone, and finally the growth zone. It made me pause and reflect on how relevant it is for this stage of life. Good intentions, yes, but it felt too linear for where I am; ten years ago I even shared this framework! And my current conclusion? Although I can’t speak for everyone, I sense it doesn’t quite apply to perimenopausal women, mainly because one very important zone at this stage is the inner capacity zone. I’m not forcing myself into anything any longer; and if we pay attention, we realise perimenopause has its own intelligent framework.
Yes…. Peri is our coach, healer, therapist, and so much more… if we allowed it to be.
And that Californian massage I had? O00000MG… it was heaven on earth.
That’s it for now.
Until next time,
Lara 🌹
A loving note: I’m sharing my lived experience, not advice or a recommendation. If something here inspires you, please research, honour your intuition, check local laws, and seek qualified professional support. Any brands I mention are personal favourites; I’m not paid, gifted or affiliated. If that ever changes, I’ll label it clearly. 🧡
Coach Lara Khalaf
The Portal of She | Evolving Feminine Leadership
“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.” This Lalah Delia quote captures the essence of my work. After over two decades in leadership roles across corporate, private, and public sectors, I stepped away to found The Portal of She Consulting, a space devoted to supporting women in organisations through leadership and executive coaching (with a focus on women navigating perimenopause), corporate training, and empowerment circles. I’m also a mystic; my path with traditional plant practices and herbalism has deepened my connection to the feminine and to life’s great mystery. Currently moving through the wild and wise portal of perimenopause, I’m honoured to be a contributing author to Menopause: Wise Women Don’t Whisper. Beyond work, I’m nourished by nature, poetry, cacao, Mother Mary, and the love of my furry family. I’m based between the UK and Spain. May my words awaken something beautiful within you. May you remember. With love.
