Patience – A Path, A Poem, A Practice

I wrote a poem, entitled “Have Patience on Your Path” an excerpt of which I share

Have patience on your path as you go
patience to learn what you need to know
perseverance to develop, bloom and grow
you’ll know – what you need to know
when you and your time is ready
just take it easy nice and steady
keep believing, keep achieving
take time to wholly appreciate and explore
all the things around you, you love and adore…..

This is episode 32 of my Mindful Poetic Stories podcast (listen to full poem here) and my views on this praiseworthy virtue, patience.

By cultivating patience in my own life, I am feeling its quiet power. Like many people, I was taught that fast is better, that progress should be perfect, loud and linear, and that waiting or taking a pause meant weakness and it wasn’t good enough. I had a strong “hurry up” driver and I would at times brutally judge myself and internally beat myself up for not doing, going or achieving as fast as I believed I should be.

This was all conditional thinking. That I would never be good enough unless I was achieving or mastering something all the time.  I would never be accepted if I was not perfect. I would never be loved unless I was giving. I did not deserve to pause and celebrate myself.

Then I realised that all these thoughts and beliefs I had were in fact self-sabotaging patterns I had learnt somewhere in my earlier life as coping mechanisms, but were now hindering me, holding me back, and due to them, I was going nowhere fast.

Coaching helped me realise that I would really benefit from more empowering thoughts and beliefs that would serve me and help me progress, if I wanted to meet my potential. It made sense.

On my journey I have come to understand something deeper: patience is one of the most empowering virtues there is. Patience isn’t passive, it’s powerful, and this includes pausing, reflecting and celebrating along our way.

This poem was a reflection, but also serves as a reminder and somewhat of a confession. A reminder that life unfolds on its own terms, and a confession that I have spent my life trying to force it and control it.

In the past I planted seeds and expected blossoms overnight. But seeds don’t rush. They trust the soil. They take the time they need.  I love the quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson who said: “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.”

I believe it is also helpful to remember, that if a plant is not growing, blossoming or blooming we do not judge, criticise or blame the plant we check on the plant’s environment.

Sarah Schnitker, Psychologist and Neuroscientist, defines patience as “the calm ability to wait in the face of frustration or adversity”, distinguishing it from mere persistence.

But what I have also learnt is that patience isn’t only about waiting; it’s about trust and appreciation. I love how Joyce Meyer puts it: “Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” That subtle shift in mindset changes everything. I’m no longer just biding time waiting aimlessly for opportunities or expecting perfection; I’m progressing with passion and purpose. I’m choosing a positive Sage attitude, learning, evolving, becoming, preparing. All the while growing with unconditional self-love.

Research backs this up. Studies show that patience isn’t just a virtue, it’s a measurable strength. People who are more patient tend to experience higher levels of life satisfaction and lower levels of depression and anxiety.

Sarah Schnitker identified three kinds of patience:
• Interpersonal patience – staying calm with others
• Life hardship patience – enduring major life struggles
• Daily hassle patience – handling everyday annoyances

I struggled in the past with all these, but when I look back, I see how my lack of patience fed into my self-sabotage all my life. Now that I continue to cultivate patience on all three of the above, my life has improved, my stress levels have improved, and most of all I’m not going to quit on myself like I did in the past.

Patience isn’t just helpful, it’s necessary to our physical, mental and emotional well-being and protecting our peace.

The last line in my poem; “You won’t reap rewards from the seeds you never sow” resonated with a lot of people, and I believe this is a reflection of today’s fast-paced culture. Sometimes we’re so afraid we won’t see immediate results that we don’t even try, or our impatience prevents us from finishing what we started.

Without taking the time to pause, reflect and celebrate, we so often only see what we haven’t done, rather than acknowledging and appreciating all we have.

I know personally how the Stickler saboteur (which keeps us stuck in a perfectionism trap) stopped me from starting, and also the Restless, Victim, and Avoider saboteurs; they all played their part, all too often preventing me from finishing what I did start.

The thing is, those voices of limiting beliefs/assumptions (Saboteurs as we call them in positive intelligence coaching) really believe they are keeping us safe, but really what they are doing is keeping us in our comfort zone, but we know nothing really ever grows in our comfort zone, and as I say parts of us can wither and die if we stay in our comfort zone.

So just like you can’t harvest from a field you never sowed, you can’t grow into your potential if you don’t start, with intention, attention, with faith, consistency and patience, when you dare to step out of your comfort zone. Patience is, I now believe, a key ingredient in any recipe for success.

Research into delayed gratification, like the famous Stanford marshmallow experiment (watch here) found that those who can wait for a greater reward tend to have better outcomes in life. You can also read a blog here on delayed gratification by James Clear, author of the highly acclaimed book Atomic Habits.

What’s even more hopeful is that patience can be trained. It’s not something you have or don’t have, it’s something you can cultivate and nurture. I can vouch for that.

Through growing mental fitness, mindfulness, gratitude, and reframing our inner dialogue, and working on diminishing and releasing our self-sabotaging patterns, rewriting a new more empowering story for ourselves, we can cultivate more patience every day. We can learn to trust our timing and tune out the saboteur internal noise, and engage our sage.

The Sage is our path to ease and flow, effortless effort, so as my poem reflects on again as in nature “keep blowing like a gentle breeze, flowing like a river running free” This imagery never fails to ground me. It reminds me that patience is also about flow, not control. You don’t have to push the river. You just have to stop fighting the current.

There is another quote that serves well: ‘You cannot force a flower to bloom. It opens in its time.’

Isn’t that beautiful? Nature doesn’t rush, and yet everything gets done. Seasons change. Trees grow. Flowers bloom. All in their time.

As I continue to cultivate patience, I remind myself often:

• Take it gently, nice and steady.
• Keep pausing and reflecting.
• Have faith in self, keep believing
• Celebrate all steps, minor to major.
• Trust the process.
• Be unconditionally kind, gentle and loving to yourself on each step of the way.

Because every step, no matter how small or slow, including the falls and fails, is still part of your becoming.

Following my passion with unwavering patience has changed everything for me.

If you’re in a season of waiting, uncertainty, or slow growth, know that you’re not alone.

But keep planting those seeds; they are doing important work beneath the surface. Your time is coming. You’re becoming.

So I hope this will serve as a reminder for you to cultivate patience on your path.
And along the way, remember to take time to simply be.

Celebrate the miracle that is you regularly

I am a Mental Fitness Self-Love Coach with the Coaching R-Framework;

Recognise – Realise – Reconnect – Release

This process helps you to know, understand, and love yourself like you were never taught to do growing up, a process where you fall in love with yourself and become the guru of your life.

If you wish to know more about cultivating patience through positive intelligence coaching, please visit my webpage www.pacoaching.co.uk – Positive Autonomy Coaching and feel free to reach out for a free no obligation discovery call

Click here to listen to all episodes of my Mindful Poetic Stories podcast, also available on all other podcast platforms.