Test: What’s your worry weak spot?

The thinking style that creates emotional drama in your life is your tendency to personalise by attributing every negative event to your personal faults and failings. There is such a thing as taking too much responsibility and personalisation often has its roots in perfectionism, and setting different standards for yourself than for other people.

Although it’s good to be open to learning and to have the courage to take responsibility when you’ve made a mistake, underlying this tendency can be a critical mindset. Comparing yourself to others can dial up internal drama and keep you stuck on an emotional rollercoaster by instilling the message that you’re not good enough or you need to change how you live your life. Personalisation can also stop you tuning into what’s really going on in a situation, and the true dynamics and context that are playing out. Crucially, it can also make you detached from what other people are going through.

Changing your relationship with yourself is the key to making life feel less drama-filled for you – accepting that you’re only human, and you’re doing your best. When you let go of the need to constantly critically assess your behaviour and actions, you can connect more with the world around you, helping you keep a sense of perspective and not get emotionally hijacked when times are tough.