Test: What’s your personal loneliness trigger?

At the root of social loneliness is a sense of not quite fitting in or being good enough – and there is nothing more guaranteed to generate social loneliness than comparing your ‘insides’ with other people’s ‘outsides’. It’s easier than ever to do now our phones are filled with carefully curated insights into strangers’ aspirational lives. You’re at risk of social loneliness if rather than feeling inspired, scrolling leaves you wondering why other people find life easier than you, or are just more successful or socially connected. Brief periods of social loneliness can also hit whenever you spend time with people you don’t quite connect with.

Worrying what others think of you is both a symptom and a cause of social loneliness, along with a sense of lacking or just being different from others. It often impacts those with people-pleasing tendencies – when you are super conscious of saying or doing the right thing, you can end up presenting a different ‘you’ in every relationship. The best defence against social loneliness is self-acceptance, and staying in touch with what you really care about, or what makes life feel meaningful and joyful for you. When your daily life and commitments largely align with your values and bring out your strengths and talents, you can celebrate other people’s achievements without questioning yourself.