Test: What stops you taking your needs seriously?

Your biggest barrier to moving yourself up your priority list is having too many demands on your time. At the root is a deep-seated belief that life should feel hard, and at times you can wear your overwhelm like a badge of honour. If you’re not stressed and tired at the end of the day, do you feel guilty and like you’re slacking?

You might have clear interests and passions, or set much-needed lifestyle goals for yourself, but only ever squeeze them in around other more ‘serious’ commitments. If taking care of yourself feels self-indulgent, you might also feel guilty when you take a break or go on holiday and find it hard to relax. It’s a common misconception that struggle builds character, or that an easy life is somehow superficial.

But the irony is that by squeezing out what you really need or what brings you joy, you're chipping away at your resilience which means you’ll be less present for the people you care about. Breaking this pattern requires recognising that self-care isn’t selfish – it's responsible. Practise self-compassion when your inner voice tells you that you should be doing more.

Remember no-one is going to pat you on the back or celebrate your achievements if all they can see is someone who is exhausted and unhappy.

Your next steps
1. Start the day by journalling to turn up the volume on your inner voice.
2. Don’t compare and despair – if scrolling leaves you feeling like you’re not achieving, take a digital break.