My Perimenopause Diaries: Holding myself through the shift

I am coming out of a ten-day immersion studying white roses. When you study a plant the shamanic way it means being intentional about drinking tea made, in this case, of rose petals, as well as learning through observation, meditation and presence… so it takes a lot of commitment and dedication to study one plant.

During summer, I studied a jungle plant called Bobinsana, known for its emotional, creative, and joyous qualities; I love studying plants, they are part of my personal path, and I do that not only through drinking their tea, but through studying how they live, adapt, and the role they play in nature.

Whilst studying Bobinsana, I discovered one insight that blew my mind!

Want to know what it was?….. voilá!

“The more grounded in myself, the more flexible with life I can be.”

Bobinsana grows along the banks of rivers and streams in the Amazon, and it can move with the currents because its roots reach up to seven times deeper than the highest branch.

Ever since learning that, I have been on a personal quest to understand what grounding really means beyond what I already knew.

What I do know is that self-awareness, living by our values, our relationship with silence, time to think, time to feel, living in harmony with our hormonal cycles, conscious breathing, grounding foods, working with plants, caring for animals, movement, massages, contact with nature, meaningful work, and having a stable physical base… are all important aspects of grounding for me.

But there was a piece missing… something more foundational.

That’s when the Rose took the teaching one step further, giving me the opportunity to practice in my everyday life something I had previously only understood in ceremony and that is: “the truth about holding oneself.”

Let me clarify something real quick, to hold oneself is not the same as holding on to things or refusing to let go.

In nature, a seed is not grounded first, it grounds once it begins holding itself.

When I shared this with my friend Mónica, she added: “To hold ourselves is to father and mother ourselves.” Si, Mónica Si! Exacto!

Holding oneself means being the person you rely on emotionally, energetically, and spiritually… It’s not about doing life alone, and it’s not about rigidity. It’s about not abandoning yourself… it’s about being able to say: “I can stay with myself while I _____”

Like Bobinsana, if its roots were not deep enough, it would be swept away by the river… and if we are not holding ourselves deeply enough, we can be swept away by life.

Holding oneself could look like this:

●●● We hold our feelings and sit with them, so what we express comes from groundedness and not from emotional overflow.

●●● We hold our boundaries when crossed, so our nervous system learns we are someone who protects our own wellbeing.

●●● We hold our cravings before reaching for what doesn’t serve us, so our choices become more conscious.

●●● We hold ourselves before opening social media again, so we act from intention rather than compulsion.

●●● We hold our words mindfully, so when we speak it comes from a balanced place.

The more I hold myself, the more grounded I am, so the more flexible I can be.

This is such a leadership principle, a perimenopause medicine lesson, and a spiritual truth all at once. Don’t you think?

Why is this a perimenopause lesson? Because this stage is a big “flexibility test” in a woman’s life physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and we need to be able to hold ourselves through it.

Holding becomes essential in perimenopause because:

●●● The body becomes unpredictable therefore holding ourselves creates internal safety.

●●● Our identity is shifting therefore holding ourselves protects self-worth during the transition.

●●● Our emotions intensify therefore holding ourselves keeps us from abandoning ourselves.

I am freaking loving this!

On a more practical note, because tending to the body is part of holding oneself, it’s been a couple of weeks and I am now obsessed with my red bedtime bulb. My sleep has improved so much! I am truly delighted.

I switch it on a few hours before bed; it’s 100% blue and green light free, zero flicker, and low EMF. I love it so much I bought another one to take to Spain. Mine is from blockbluelight.co.uk.

It’s a gorgeous day in London today… I am off for a walk.

That’s all for now…

A loving note: I’m sharing my lived experience as a woman who menstruates, knowing that not all women do, and not everyone who menstruates identifies as a woman. This is not advice or a recommendation. If something here inspires you, please research, honour your intuition, check local laws, and seek qualified professional support. Any brands I mention are simply personal favourites; I’m not paid, gifted or affiliated. If that ever changes, I’ll label it clearly. 🌹