From Fear of Rejection to Courage in Compassion; Embracing gratitude on my “Train of Life”

My Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast episode 19 (listen here) is all about thankfulness, but there’s a twist, it’s not only dedicated to the people who supported and encouraged me and who were positively there for me – no, it is poetically dedicated to all the people who have been on my train of life

This poem is a journey through healing and growth. I wrote it in 2022 on a train to somewhere. While I did not record my destination that day, I realise now it’s not at all relevant, but in fact what was more on point was the metaphor for life itself as a train journey filled with people coming and going, and all its lessons, love, and transformation.

This same metaphor was used by James Tippett in his beautiful poetic video reflection, “The Train of Life,” (listen here) profoundly showcasing life’s transitions and relationships with sorrow, joy, expectations, ‘hello’s and ‘goodbye’s.

In this episode, I also share stories of my dad, as my relationship with my dad wasn’t always close; we were different. But after he passed, I began to see the depth of his gentleness and his non-judgmental nature. Sometimes the deepest gratitude comes after loss and with it healing.  On this journey of life, death has a way of revealing life’s greatest truths.

My journey through coaching and building mental fitness with positive intelligence and emotional awareness has helped me move from fear and rejection to compassion and courage and has helped me with;

• Overcoming my fear of vulnerability and rejection
• Healing my emotional wounds and triggers
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Cultivating the courage to face my own imperfections

And in this podcast episode I share how it helps me to continue to embrace compassion, even when others have walked away, even with the most challenging people.

There was a time when rejection was my greatest fear, and it tore me apart. I would lie awake, wondering what I said, what I should have said, what I did wrong. But I have learned: rejection doesn’t reflect your worth, it reflects someone else’s path. The only true heartbreaking rejection is when we abandon ourselves.

Over time, I have learned that when someone leaves without a word, it’s not always about us. Relationships are a mirror, and often, others are acting from their own needs, their own unhealed wounds or their own personal reasons they don’t wish to share. However, now I am grateful through the power of self-awareness and self love to have built resilience, and a self-care vow to protect my energy and my peace at all costs.

There’s a profound quote I read by a monk: imagine getting bitten by a snake and instead of healing and recovering from the poison, you try to catch the snake to find out the reason it bit you to prove that you didn’t deserve that.

Rejection isn’t always about you—sometimes, it’s life redirecting you to self-love.

I now realise that growing up I never learnt how to create healthy boundaries — but now I know they are not walls, they are bridges to better communication and better relationships.  They help us protect our precious energy

In my poetic story, I also thank the “difficult” people, as those people who challenged us were my best teachers! They give us the opportunities we need to grow compassion, and create and reinforce healthy boundaries.

In the book How to Hug a Porcupine; Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities — useful tips on how to love and manage those “prickly” people, it emphasises the importance of loving people even when they are hard to love, but that doesn’t mean accepting abuse or toxic behaviour. Rather, it is advocating for a compassionate detachment: love them as they are, but establish firm and healthy boundaries to protect yourself.

The quote that always touched me deeply but I admit it took me a long time to embrace, was by Nelson Mandela when he said, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” 

Self-compassion. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is the role of self-love in all this onward life movement and transformation.

You must belong to yourself first. Love yourself fiercely. Speak with compassion. Stay soft, and gentle even when the world tries to harden you. Never let pain or rejection or the judgment of others dim your light.

Every encounter on the train of life serves a purpose. Some teach love, some teach patience, and others remind you of your strength. Stay true to you, and remember, the universe always has your back.

Loving yourself is the inner revolution that brings you peace, and then you share that gift with the world.

When you learn to truly love yourself you no longer self-sabotage, as that self-compassion leads everything you do.

For me, life most certainly is Like that Train Journey… and I think a metaphor that can help us stay connected with that forward motion, as are we meant to move forward in the realisation that;

Not everyone is meant to ride with you forever. Some people leave without a goodbye. That’s okay. Let them go with love.

The hardest passengers often teach the deepest lessons. Even pain can be a teacher.

Boundaries protect your peace, not punish others. Loving someone doesn’t mean accepting everything. Respecting your energy is a radical act of self-love.

Rejection isn’t the end, it’s a redirection. Their absence might be your blessing in disguise. Not every goodbye comes with an explanation. But every encounter carries a lesson.

The journey is yours, learn to ride it with love, courage, emotional awareness and resilience.
Your self-worth and wellbeing aren’t up for debate.

Despite what people may say keep a soft heart with love and compassion for humanity, don’t let anyone turn you bitter in this life, you will meet people who have turned bitter themselves but know where there is bitterness, there is a deep pain within that was buried, sometimes buried so deep, the person has lost complete awareness of it. There will be dark tunnels on your train journey of life, however, the wrong people always teach you the right life lessons.

Your responsibility: protect your precious life energy; don’t lose it in another’s journey; stay true to yourself, your inner light; live in that bright energy, of your beautiful life always moving forward……

The words of the rapper TUPAC sum it up nicely for me: “Just because you have lost me as a friend it doesn’t mean you have gained me as an enemy, I still want to you to eat, just not at my table”.

Remembering words like these helps me to continue cultivating a gratitude attitude and growing compassion from within, for the goodness of my wellbeing.

On reading this, I invite you to reflect on your own journey and the passengers you’ve met along the way in your life who taught you valuable lessons.

If this message resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it. Leave a review, reach out via my website and let’s continue to walk this journey of growth together.

Tune in to all episodes of my Mindful Poetic Stories podcast here