Cravings vs. Hunger: Healing Your Emotional Relationship With Food (Part 2)

On my Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast, Part 2 of My Fridge, The Bigger Picture (listen here) I share how, on my own journey to making my health a priorty, one question kept coming back to me:
“Am I hungry, or is something else going on right now?”

This simple question helped me gain a deeper understanding of my emotional relationship with food.

In this Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast Episode, I talk about hunger versus cravings and understanding the difference.

Hunger is your body’s natural signal for nourishment; it’s a physical need, a biological response that says, “Fuel me so I can live.”

Cravings, on the other hand, can often be for emotional comfort; our rational mind knows our body doesn’t need nourishment, but when our emotions dominate us, they override our ability to think straight. They override our ability to make a healthy choice. Cravings can show up when we’re stressed, lonely, anxious, or feeling disconnected. They usually demand comfort foods, sweet, salty, fatty things that promise relief.

But that relief is so often temporary, as what can come after the binge is often guilt, shame, and deeper emotional weariness. I learned this the hard way. What felt like comfort became a cycle, a trap, where food was no longer fuel, but a way to numb what I didn’t want to feel.

You are not weak when you binge eat, you’re weary.

The Power of the Pause: One of the most transformative practices for me has been learning to pause. That sacred moment of pausing before reaching for the chocolate, before giving in to the craving, allows space for awareness. Allowing space for a conscious choice. You won’t always make the healthy choice, but in that pause, we reconnect with our true essence. We sit with the discomfort instead of numbing it instantly without thought.  It’s not easy. It’s confronting. It takes time. But over time, it’s also freeing.

This is how I began breaking free from unconscious behaviours and emotional eating. Choosing me and my body over food. Not every time, but more and more often. It’s a gentle, loving process that requires patience and kindness, not punishment.

When I got to the point where I could say, “I love my body more than I love that cake”, that was an empowering moment and one in which I knew my self-love work was paying off; there was now no going back.

In this Mindful Poetic Stories episode, I discuss how we live in a culture that profits from our pain and disconnection. From sugary “treats” in every aisle and in so many everyday food products now, to the rising popularity of slimming jabs like Ozempic, we’re constantly offered quick fixes that bypass our emotional needs.

These drugs work by tricking the body into feeling full, mimicking hormones like GLP-1, but they don’t heal the root of the issue: our toxic relationship with food, and often, with ourselves. The emotional needs we are trying so hard to satisfy with external pleasures.

Tricking our body into not eating can work in the short term, but what is the long-term impact? Fundamentally, I know personally that tricking your body into not eating is not healing. Read my previous blog, Part 1: My Fridge, My Friend, for more on that.

I was surprised watching a popular talk show recently where I heard it said, “I like gaunt… bring on gaunt.” It made me reflect on how far I have come, as my younger self would have certainly agreed, anything to escape the shame of my “fat face.” But now I know: loving your body means nourishing it, not punishing it.

Our Inner Critic – Judge: For years, I beat myself up for not having the “willpower” to lose weight or stop emotional eating. That harsh inner critic, what we call in Positive Intelligence Coaching the Judge Saboteur, told me I was weak, pathetic, not good enough, and when I believed that voice, I would eat more to soothe the pain it caused, and I would give up on myself and my weight loss mission completely, causing a never-ending self-sabotage cycle.

Where did we learn to do this to ourselves?

Society normalises sugar addiction while shaming those who seek comfort in food. Yet when people numb their emotions with the overuse of alcohol or drugs, there’s immediate concern.

Sugar, which activates the same reward system in the brain, is somehow seen as harmless, even though studies show rats choose a sugar solution over a cocaine solution in experiments.

Weight loss drugs, diet trends, slimming clubs; they all promise relief. But as Desmond Tutu wisely said:

“There comes a point where we need to stop pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in.”

Quick fixes may offer temporary relief, but they don’t solve the deeper issue: the emotional void, the disconnection, the belief that we are not enough, the judgment and shame we feel.

The truth is, healing your relationship with food is not about control or restriction; it’s about connection. When you love yourself, you begin to care for yourself. You stop using food to escape, and start using nourishment as an act of devotion. You value yourself enough to put your health, wellbeing and happiness first.

My kitchen mantra, a quote I cut out of Psychologies magazine and framed many years ago reminds me daily:

“Eat to nourish, not punish. Move to the rhythm of your body.”

You see, your health isn’t just about what you eat, it’s about what you think, say, feel, and believe about yourself. Your body is not a battleground; it’s a miracle vessel that responds to how you treat it.

And as Jim Kwik said;

Eat like you love yourself.

Speak like you love yourself.

Move like you love yourself.”

You’re Not Alone

If you struggle with emotional eating, know this: you are not alone. You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. You need love, awareness, and support. That’s why I became a self-love coach, to help others come home to themselves, the way I did.

Whether you’re facing food cravings, body shame, or the endless cycle of dieting, remember: the journey back to wholeness starts within.

Reconnect. Reclaim. Rise.

In the words of Nayyirah Waheed; ‘and I said to my body softly, “I want to be your friend”, it took a long breath and replied, “I have been waiting my whole life for this”‘

I am a Mental Fitness Self-Love Coach with the Coaching R-Framework; Recognise – Realise – Reconnect – Release

This process helps you to understand, know and love yourself like you were never taught to do growing up. You fall in love with yourself so you can become the guru of your own life and take ownership of your life with a positive mindset.

Tune in to my Mindful Poetic Stories Podcast here, and it’s available on all podcast platforms.