My Perimenopause Diaries: Relief, Confusion, and Curiosity

Dear Diary,

I am happy… I am happy because my period came this week. Since I began the journey of Perimenopause (Peri), my period hasn’t followed its usual 28/30 day rhythm; but for most of this year, I have been surprised by its regularity, which is a gift that helps me organise my life more intentionally. When my period was due and there were no signs for quite a few days, I felt sad… is this the beginning of the end?

I was so relieved and joyful when It came, and I am aware everyone’s relationship to menstruation is unique. I am deeply connected to the rhythms of my cycle; discovering this innate wisdom and putting it to work was life changing for me.

I remember many years ago walking into a bookshop and noticing books on menstruation, and thinking, “What kind of BS is this?”, says the woman who often found herself at work on the bathroom floor during menstruation, stuffed with painkillers and waiting for the excruciating pain to ease so I could carry on. Occasionally I think I wish I’d had the right wisdom and language back then; I would have supported the women in my teams differently… Now I share this wisdom in my work, and we talk about cycle awareness, Peri, and so much more. The irony, right?

Do you know what I’ve noticed lately? When I’m in conversation and mention I still menstruate, some of my people look confused and ask, “Aren’t you supposed to be in menopause?” Then I explain that Peri is the phase before menopause and their faces look even more confused!

Truthfully, it wasn’t until I started learning about this to better support my female clients (not realising the information was for me too) that I acquired the right knowledge. Up to that point I knew only the super bare minimum about menopause: hot flushes, night sweats, and periods finishing around 55… that was about it.

Peri is now a focus of my work too, so I study this subject deeply, and still I am learning and discovering new things. I totally get the confusion though; how many of us didn’t realise we were going through it (mistaking symptoms for “life”) or what it actually entails…  let alone our closest people!

I firmly believe that those of us navigating this phase need to share our findings. The shifts we experience are so profound and impactful that one way we support ourselves is by educating others.

By the way, something I’ve started wondering about: why is menopause defined as 12 consecutive months without a period… So I started the investigating and stumbled across the Tremin research program on women’s health and papers in the National Library of Medicine.

It’s a little intense for me to digest the whole thing right now, so I’ll finish reading it later. For now, here is an extract: “From 8 to over 20 different perimenopausal stage patterns were observed, depending on the analysis. While the most common pattern was to progress from regular to changing to menopause, some women experienced menstrual bleeding after a year or more of amenorrhea, others flip-flopped between stages, and still others skipped directly from regular bleeding to menopause. We conclude that there is considerable variation in women’s movement across menopausal status categories and urge researchers to accommodate such findings in their model building.”

I’m still figuring this out… from what I’ve read so far, did I understand this correctly, that the 12 month rule is more of a definition of convenience? A useful guideline, yes, but one that doesn’t always reflect women’s lived realities?

Wow… well this is definitely something worth studying!

I am off for a walk…

Until next week,

Lara 🌹

A loving note: I’m sharing my lived experience as a woman who menstruates, knowing that not all women do and not everyone who menstruates identifies as a woman. This is not advice or a recommendation. If something here inspires you, please research, honour your intuition, check local laws, and seek qualified professional support. Any brands I mention are simply personal favourites; I’m not paid, gifted or affiliated. If that ever changes, I’ll label it clearly. 🧡