Psychologies works with selected partners who pay to promote their products and services. Learn More

Embracing Fear at 40: My Journey So Far

It’s November, and as I progress through my 40th year, it’s becoming more evident that time seems to whiz by faster with age. If you remember, I set a challenge for myself on my 40th birthday: to do something each month that pushed me out of my comfort zone, made me uncomfortable, or even scared. So, what have I been up to?

  • I’ve braved the waters in a bikini for the first time in seven years, surrounded by women about a decade younger than myself, here in the UK. 
  • I ventured to Disney World and tackled every ride, including the heart-pounding, adrenaline-pumping ones. 
  • Public speaking has never been my forte, but I managed to give a reading at my brother’s wedding. 
  • I finally got my bellybutton pierced, a desire that had been with me since I was 14. 
  • Stepping out of my comfort zone, I attended my first step class, pushing beyond my usual dance workouts in the privacy of my home. 
  • And, perhaps the most daunting of all, I took a six-week break from my business. 

These past few months have certainly been action-packed, no wonder the year is zipping by. But what have I learned from this experience?

The Power of the Mind: Lessons Learned

The most valuable lesson I’ve gained is an appreciation for the incredible power of the mind and how it can often hinder our progress.

Our minds are wired to protect us, tapping into our deepest fears and insecurities. We believe we’re shielding ourselves from embarrassment, failure, judgment, or pain, but in reality, we’re often preventing ourselves from moving forward. The mind resists change and craves the status quo, familiarity, and comfort.

However, if we aspire to grow, flourish, and become the best versions of ourselves, we must break free from our comfort zones and self-imposed limitations and embrace the realm of possibilities. We need to be willing to face failures, learn from them, and embark on our journey with an open heart.

Influence Beyond Myself: Inspiring Others

I still don’t have a fondness for fast rides or the thrill of roller coasters going upside down; it’s simply not my cup of tea.

However, had I chosen to remain on the sidelines, guarding our family’s belongings, I would have missed witnessing the sheer joy on my six-year-old’s face as she gleefully enjoyed every rollercoaster. I would have missed her infectious laughter, as well as the priceless photograph capturing her amusement at my evident fear on the Tower of Terror ride.

Standing in front of all my brother’s family and friends to give the reading at his wedding wasn’t something I relished. But I had the privilege of selecting the reading, and many of his friends approached me during the celebration to express how beautiful they found it. Saying yes, despite my fears, led to moments of genuine connection and lasting memories.

My fitness journey is a source of immense pride. I’m now physically stronger and fitter than ever before, and I genuinely enjoy exercise. However, the true joy stems from the influence my journey has had on others. Several friends have started going to the gym and prioritizing self-care, and my husband, who had ruptured his ACL a few years ago, is back on the rugby field and joining me at the gym.

Even my wonderful Mum has taken up weightlifting and pilates. The ripple effect of confronting your fears and shattering self-imposed limits can be profound. It’s not about flaunting your progress on social media, but rather about sharing the vulnerability of trying something new and inspiring others to take that first step toward their potential, with the support of those around them.

Join the Journey: Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs

If you’re interested in uncovering your own self-limiting beliefs and conquering your fears to unlock your full potential, please reach out for a no-obligation introductory call. I help people through a variety of bespoke coaching programmes, giving you the support that you need to achieve both your professional and personal goals. Click here to book a call.

What will I get up to next? Until next time!  Be fearless.

Jessica Brewer

Jessica Brewer

Career & Leadership Coach

Jessica Brewer is a career and leadership coach with over a decade of experience helping business owners to build engaged and high performing teams using a variety of coaching tools and techniques that support employees and leaders in a variety of ways. She has enabled her clients to scale, in some cases to multiple eight figure businesses, whilst retaining their ability to be themselves and create space for themselves and those around them. As a Chartered Master of the CIPD, an ICF accredited coach, and a qualified Mental Health First Aider, Jessica draws on her skills to help business owners create workplaces for people to thrive, having a tangible impact on their bottom line. She is passionate about creating a better, more inclusive world of work for future generations, inspired by her two young daughters and her own experience of work place bullying. In her spare time, she is also an active volunteer with the Young Women's Trust, supporting young women with career coaching.

Show all articles

Create a life you loveSubscribe for under £20

Subscribe today and save up to £26 on your first 6 issues of Psychologies!