What do you usually do when a sexual fantasy pops into your mind? Do you allow it to play out, or do you push it back down because you are concentrating on something else? Psychologist Laurie Mintz, author of A Tired Woman’s Guide To Passionate Sex (Adams Media, £9.99), recommends setting aside five minutes a day to indulge in erotic daydreaming as a way of stimulating your sexual desire.
Get in touch with your body in a way that you really enjoy. It may be a long slow massage or a pounding workout that leaves you with satisfyingly achy muscles – the point is to live from the neck down, once in a while.
Practise flirting – not as a precursor to sex, but as a playful way of showing your curiosity for others in its own right. Remember, says Psychologies’ sex and relationships therapist Esther Perel, the word flirting ‘comes from the French word meaning teasing. It’s about playing with possibility. It’s not about making it happen.’