This month’s dossier is all about how to stress less – why you should let go of your to-do list, tried and tested anti-stress methods and a stress test. To tie in with this, stress expert and author of ‘How to deal with stress (creating success)’ Stephen Palmer took to twitter to answer your questions about stress. You can read his answers below.
Hi, it’s Stephen Palmer. I’m here to answer your stress questions.
Hannah LaMontagne Dawe asks: I panic when things aren’t done or I haven’t achieved what I want, it stresses me out. How do I deal with that?
Hannah, deawfulise – don’t blow things out of proportion. Ask yourself, is it the end of the world if I haven’t achieved what I want to achieve?
@JulieannF asks: I find working in an open plan office with very negative people so stressful…any tips?
@JulieannF It is challenging! Increase your frustration tolerance eg remind your self ‘I don’t like it but I’m living proof I can stand it’
Sharon Stott asks: I’ve been hearing my blood flow/heartbeat in my ears at various points in the day for the past 2 months. Is this stress?
Sharon,you maybe just focusing on a bodily symptom that’s nothing to worry about. However, suggest you ask your GP in case you need a checkup
Gina Qureshi asks: How do I stop being a doormat and start living the life I’ve imagined. I feel I’m too busy helping others.
Gina, ask yourself why you are putting others first. Perhaps you’ve got into the habit of saying yes to others requests.Practise saying no
@Walldorfian I tend to use profanities when I’m stressed out – not good I know especially with a bairn in tow, what to do?
@Walldorfian Instead of swearing use more acceptable words instead eg ‘oh fudge it’ or take a deep breath and count to 3
Charlotte Charmain Barrett asks: After low mood and anxiety how can you motivate yourself to be the confident and happy person you were?
Charlotte, motivation comes after, not before action. Start doing things again you used to like eg see good friends, listen to upbeat music etc.
Livvi Lestrange asks: How do you deal with university stress? I have so much work. When I have time for myself I am too tired to do anything.
Livvi, my book, Coping with Stress at University is full of techniques which you may find useful. Are you too tired to walk/jog?I doubt it. Are you doing more work than your friends on the same course? If so, are your standards are too high and can you lower them a bit?
@Angeline1611 What is your advice for women who have PND and do you think CBT techniques are worth trying?
@Angeline1611 Some of my clients have found that CBT provides them additional strategies for dealing with PND.
@LisasShare What’s the worst piece of stress advice you’ve ever heard?
@LisasShare worst advice – avoiding and not dealing with problems – really does not help! Face problems and find solutions it the answer!
@BondiManc Do effigies work? Half joking
@BondiManc sticking pins in effigies is a quick fix! Probably better to deal with the person assertively for a long-term solution!
@stokeseyk My disorganisation causes chaos and stress yet it doesn’t propel me to become organised. Any tips for becoming more organised?
@stokeseyk Make a pros and cons list of staying as you are ie chaotic! Then make a 2nd pros and cons list of becoming and staying organised.
@YasminSelena When I can feel the vein in my left temple pulsing madly, what does that mean? Is it a clear sign of stress?
@YasminSelena Could be triggered by stress or just exertion – both may increase your blood pressure. If concerned ask your GP.
Emina Habibovi? Kalam asks: I feel guilty that my two year old stresses me out. Deep breathing doesn’t work, I feel guilty, she’s just a kid.
Emina, guilt is usually triggered when a person ‘shoulds’ on themselves eg I should not get stressed by my child. However, children can trigger stress so remind yourself you are fallible like the rest of us.
Catherine Homer asks: I am stressed with stay at home mum jobs, never ending house work and looking after children. How can I stay calmer?
Catherine, learning to relax is a challenge with children around. Become more mindful in the moment eg notice your breathing, your walking etc
@_enfys Having essay / chores / errands to do – feeling overwhelmed & end up doing nothing. What can I do?
@_enfys An idea to make a list of the important items you need to complete and stick to the list. Create a second list of unimportant items and only start on them once the important items have been done unless any become essential.
Time to sign off. If anybody needs more info, my book with Prof Cary Cooper, How to Deal with Stress, is full of useful tips. Stephen Palmer
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