I am 34 and about to have my first child. My husband and I are thrilled but, in the past few months, I have begun to feel extremely anxious that something bad is going to happen. I worry that things are going so well, it’s only a matter of time before our luck runs out. If my husband is away for too long I am convinced he has been in an accident. How can I make these thoughts go away?
Lucy Beresford replies: First, congratulations on your pregnancy and the imminent arrival of your first baby. Although pregnancy is an exciting time, it is also one of huge changes – physically, emotionally, hormonally and in terms of your other relationships. With all these changes happening, or looming, anxieties are very common and very valid.
Your anxieties are straying into the realm of fear, that bad things are going to happen, and this, too, is understandable. No amount of reading books or listening to the experiences of others can prepare a new mother completely for what lies ahead, and it is this unknown that is increasing your feelings of dread. Looking at your anxieties as an understandable response to an unknown situation might be the first step in helping you manage their intensity.
There are a number of practical things you can do to relieve tension and thereby perhaps make the anxieties diminish, such as yoga or meditation, swimming or having a massage. You might also, if you haven’t done so already, visit the birthing suite where you intend to give birth, or speak to your midwife and/or GP about your underlying fears. They will be very understanding, especially as you’re a first-time mum. But if you still find your anxieties upsetting, some counselling might offer you the additional ‘holding’ you might need during this highly emotional time.
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