An interesting snippet in the news today. Apparently, Alastair Campbell is a housework refusnik. His partner, Fiona Miller, revealed to the Radio Times that even before they had children, ‘Alastair never took any interest in cooking or shopping’ and he sabotaged the vacuum cleaner (he didn’t mention it when we interviewed him for our March issue, funnily enough).
Sound familiar? In every relationship, one partner usually thinks that they do more than their fair share. In many relationships, both partners feel that way. My husband and I have a constant stand-off because we can’t agree which is more important: changing the sheets or fixing the internet. We both conveniently ignore the other person’s contribution, although I maintain that clean sheets are more effective at promoting happiness than broadband.
Relationship therapist Andrew G Marshall wrote a fantastic feature about using the principles of behavioural economics to influence your partner without resorting to nagging. My favourite tip was about ‘choice architecture’:
‘The choice architect is the person who organises the context in which people make decisions. It could be a doctor describing different treatments to a patient or a supermarket manager who decides where stock is displayed in the store.’
In terms of our relationships, he says, we can change how we present decisions to our partner. It’s no longer just a case of ‘Will you do the Hoovering please, Alastair’, but ‘Would you rather do the Hoovering or pick the kids up from school?’ (Or hang out with Tony and mastermind some devilish political plot…)
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