Porn isn’t even about ‘normal’ sex anymore. It’s so easy to stumble upon it online, even when you least expect it. Vaginal sex seems to have fallen off the radar. It’s all about anal sex with women who have ridiculous ‘ball breasts’ and no trace of pubic hair. Anal sex where the woman is penetrated by two penises simultaneously is not at all uncommon and whatever’s going on, the woman is given no stimulation or pleasure at all.

If kids of both sexes are growing up seeing this kind of stuff all the time then it’s no wonder they’re so screwed up.

But online porn is just a small part of it. What about the explicit lads’ mags on plain view, the near naked women used to advertise just about everything… i do worry about the objectification of the female body, there is no room in modern culture for anything other than a women who is young, slim and flawless. Chubby, average looking, flawed men are still admired for other talents, but it is much harder for women to be recognised if you don’t look a certain way. Airbrushed images and porn don’t help, and it increasingly affects young men’s body image as well.

I fully back a more rigourous sex ed plan for schools teaching about what real boobs look like, what relationships involve and the benefits of meaningful, intimate partnerships over quick-fix cheap thrills. A healthy balance is important and needs to be instilled in our children before the barrage of medial imagery distorts their minds, unfortunately this means teaching them these things at a much younger age than we used to, that’s the modern world.

When I watched porn, I was looking for something which cannot be experienced in reality, so I did not think I was watching something like a documentary with the intention to use it in real interactions with women. I enjoyed mainly the experience of watching something like a “fairy tale” with all its pros and cons.

As for its harmful influence stemming from unreal expectations, it is similar to other kinds of fiction and fantasy in movies – e.g. if I build my expectations and form my behaviour in accordance with what I have seen in romantic movies or love stories or romantic pop songs, I will be sadly disappointed as well. And I may lose interest in real relationships with all their problems and difficulties if I set unrealistic standards because of believing in the standards presented in romantic movies and songs.

In my opinion, the effects of porn depend mainly on the way how people use it. Needless to say, many people use it in an unreasonable way. But if one uses it as something beyond reality and enjoys the pleasure of watching these fiction stories, keeping in mind that they are dealing with fantasy/imagination -not reality- I personally don´t see any problems with it.

Some amount of fiction can be beneficial to us, also in the field of sex or erotica. An ideal porn would be a representation of our secret fantasies which we cannot make come true in real life, whatever it may be about…