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Forgiveness
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  • Katie
    02/08/2008 10:32 am | Subject: Forgiveness

    During the short time me and boyfriend broke up and I slept with someone else. I don't know why I did that. Until this day I still cannot forgive myself for it. I was scared, vulnerable and lonely at the time. When we got back together, I confessed and didn't expect him to be with me. It has been more than 1.5 years now since we got back together. We're happy most of the time, however I cannot forgive myself for what I have done. Recently, a so-called friend told me she know someone who know that person I slept with. She said he told that friend about me and about the sex. She warned me that I've got a bad name and that I got to be careful becuase it'll eventually get back to my boyrfriend. Ever since this incident and I cannot sleep at night. Somehow I felt like I've cheated and does not deserve to be with my boyfriend. I'm worry that it will get to my boyfriend and this will hurt him. I cannot forgive myself and afraid that I will never will if I stay with my boyfriend.

  • shatterboxx
    04/08/2008 12:38 pm | Subject:

    I think you probably already know this but you're going to need to tell your boyfriend what happened. You didn't do anything wrong and if you didn't have the threat of someone telling him for you, I'd say it's your business. But thanks to this *charming* person you have in your life who knows what happened, it could all go a bit messy. Besides, with what you've been feeling, it sounds like you really need to get it off your chest. Just tell him you feel awful about it but make sure he knows it didn't happen while you were together. If he reacts badly then you might have to decide whether he's the right person to be with... I had a similar situation where I kissed my ex during a period when I wasn't with my current boyfriend. I told him about it because there was a chance he could have found out otherwise and the whole thing could have been blown out of proportion. As it stood, he was hurt (just as I would have been in his position) but he accepted that it was something that had nothing to do with him and we've moved on.

  • Anonymous
    14/08/2008 5:48 pm | Subject:

    This is crystal clear - You were not with our boyfriend at the time of having sex with someone else so you did not cheat on anyone. For what ever reason, it happended. You don't have to analise the reasons and you don't have to come up with a reason. You have told your boyfriend you slept with someone when you broke up so your 'friend' has nothing on you. She cannot do any damage, other than make herself look jelious that you are attractive and responsive to male attention. Please don't beat yourself up about something you cannot chage and try not to worry about something that just might happen. If it does, deal with it then. In the meantime, love your boyfriend, enjoy life and enjoy being with him.

  • Anonymous
    12/09/2008 1:33 am | Subject:

    Be kind to yourself - you and your boyfriend were broken up, you were apart. You had an experience with someone that you regret - most of us have done that at one time or another. Now that person is behaving badly. I am sorry that this is happening to you, but all it proves is that you made the right choice NOT staying with that person - whether you made the right choice going back to your boyfriend remains to be seen. You must ask yourself: as much as you love him, if just being with him makes you feel so ashamed about your brief liaision, if you have so much fear about what he will think/feel/do if he finds out you were with someone else (despite being broken up), maybe you are not with the right person. It seems to me that the only way you will find out is if you first forgive yourself and accept yourself as a good, worthwhile person. Having done that, if you still have worries about whether your boyfriend can do the same, girl, it's time to move on.

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