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Is my daughter a bully?

By Lucy Beresford
Is my daughter a bully?

I think my daughter might be turning into a bully. I overheard her playing with one of her best friends the other day, and she was teasing her about her clothes, and pushing her about a bit. I spoke to my daughter about it, but I can’t police her playtimes, or when she’s at school. Should I talk to the other parents about her behaviour?

Lucy Beresford replies: It’s great you’ve already spoken to your daughter. She’ll be helped by knowing what your views are
on the subject. Do step in when next you see her bullying someone, and consider withdrawing privileges as a result. And praise her when she acts in a kind manner towards others – even you.

But you can’t do it alone. Talk to her teachers. Explain your worries, and ask that they keep an eye open for bullying on their premises. And talk to other parents, so that bullying becomes something all adults are watching out for. Ask them to tell you if they think your daughter is bullying their child.

Start a conversation with your daughter about characters in films who operate in a bullying fashion. This way, you can get her to open up about what she thinks of them. Explore with her why these people might be behaving the way they are, and use this to find out if there are things your daughter is struggling with. Is she being bullied herself?

We pick up behaviour from the world around us. Model for your daughter the respectful behaviour you applaud and she’ll learn positively from you.

What would you do? Add your comments below.

Send your dilemmas to dilemmas@psychologies.co.uk



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